[Today, in the car, on the way to Chicago.]

Gretta (age 7): This song is stupid.

Emma (age 2) whipping around to face Gretta: We don’t say stupid. [then, turning back to look out her window and sighing very deeply:] My sistaw so annoywing.

Me (age 32): We don’t say annoying.

Gretta: Mom, turn down the music, I need to read you something… “The pinkish gray Goblin Shark is as pale as a ghost. It has tiny eyes and a long flat pointed snout. Some people say it’s the world’s ugliest shark.”

Emma: We don’t say ugwy.

Gretta, continuing: “In the wild, dolphins and sharks usually leave one another alone….” Maaahm, are you LISTENING to me?

Me: Yes. Dolphins and sharks don’t kill each other.

Emma: I’M dead!

Me: Emma, we don’t say – don’t even joke. [then I catch a glimpse of her in the rearview mirror, eyes closed, tongue out.] Emma, knock it off. You’re not dead.

Emma: Yeeeaah, I IS!

Gretta, throwing down the book: Maybe we need some ice cream.

Emma: ICE CWEAM! ICE CWEAM!

Gretta: I want strawberry.

Emma: I want stupid wif cherrwies on it.

Me: EMMA!

Emma, giggling: And nuts.

Me: Oh. My. Gawd. Gretta, pick up your book and read that part back to me slowly. SLOWER!! I’m writing….