1. My favorite book-buying kid just stopped into the shop again tonight. He bought another Captain Underpants, explaining that his school only has two copies of this particular volume and they are in high demand. I replied that I hate giving books back, that it’s much better to own my own copies. He answered, “That’s exactly why we’re in an economic crisis right now” and then gave me a 20 cent tip.

2. I’m still dreadfully behind in my blog reading. I know you’ll forgive me, but that’s not enough for me. I want to be there, all up in your business. I miss you. And listen, if something huge has happened to you and I’m the dick who hasn’t commented in some way? Never be afraid to email me a verbal slap upside the head. I’m not kidding.

3. Since you were all so curious and supportive about this past weekend, I’ll just tell you: I was meeting with magazine editors. It was like speed dating for writers, like seven job interviews in a row. It was exhausting, terrifying, and ultimately exhilarating. Now you know.

4. The contest has ended! The new owner of Alicia’s beautiful pair of earrings is Cathy at Noble Pig. Congratulations!

5. Finally, the announcement.

If I had to guess, I’d say it’s about 400 square feet. Maybe even 500. I was so excited I forgot to ask.

It is old. It is rich with character and water stains, built-ins and cobwebs. It has freshly scrubbed window sills; a carefully swept pine floor, painted brown. It has stairs for sinking down into inspiration, high vaulted ceilings for dreaming up. It has a donated desk carried in by friends, and a vase-full of fresh flowers delivered in person by my worried but always supportive husband.

The copper key seems to sparkle even more in my palm.

It is a writer’s studio, and it is mine.

In 1997, while waiting to board a plane to our honeymoon destination, Dave and I bought a pair of matching sunglasses at an airport kiosk. Ignoring my new husband’s eye-rolling, I christened them Marital Sunglasses, a solid representation of the ethereal bliss that was the start of our new life together.

We found our gate, and I tore myself away from him to hit the bathroom one last time before the flight. Upon finishing a piss to which I’m sure I attached some sort of matrimonial import, I wiped, stood up, turned around, looked down to flush, and watched my new sunglasses fall from their perch atop my head into the uber-vacuum vortex of the airport commode.

And I instantly burst into tears. In my mind, I had just flushed my fledgling marriage down the toilet. Obviously.

Thing is, I have always put too much import on inanimate objects, on innocent events. I have always over-analyzed the simplest of things.

A month or so ago, one of my favorite bloggers gave me this E is for Excellent award. The deal is you acknowledge it, thank your God and your country, and then pass it on to a few of your own favorite bloggers. Simple, right?

Well, not when your name is Maggie, dammit.

I have obsessed over this, you have no idea. I don’t want to leave anyone out, but I don’t want to create a big huge list of links that no one will read, either. It is the God’s honest truth that I have so many blogs I love. I adore my real-life blogging friends, of course – their blogs are good but I’m also extra-invested in them, because I know these guys. They have my heart.

And of course I read lots of people I don’t know, people I’ll never meet. Yet I’m totally caught up in their lives. Some of them give me easily digestible bits of humor and fun, and others make me think for days. Some of them are as hard on themselves as I, and I couldn’t love them more for it. I know you know some of them, but not all of them. I read a lot of undiscovered greats, in my humble opinion, and I’m learning about new ones every day.

This is getting obnoxious. And I’m still leaving people out. See why I hate this?

So here is what I decided. I am going to single out one blogger, and I’m going to put her over there in my sidebar next to the superslick E is for Excellent badge, under “Current Blog Crush”. As I feel like it, I’ll update this box – so if you see your blog over there please grab the badge and pass the honor along. Just don’t spend a month obsessing over it like your neurotic hostess.

Officially, I’m passing this award on to Karey of Mackin Ink. Karey is a midwestern mom of three daughters now living in the middle east. Her writing is easy reading, and just unique enough that I’m always left feeling like I just finished some sort of profound fairy tale. There’s a lovely mix of deep and light, of rich fudge and pink sprinkles, and when she really decides to grab you by the lapels and tell you something important? The results are astounding. Not only that, she’s a generous soul. Trust me on that one.

So there you have it.

I think I’ll go dust off my old wedding album, or maybe obsess over how many bloggers I likely just alienated with this post. Or maybe I’ll try to figure out just what it all means.

Maybe I’ll just go sunglasses shopping.

To all of you, whether I linked you before my head exploded or not, thank you for reading, and thank you for writing. I love the idea that there are all these words floating around out there in the universe for anyone who cares enough to catch. Every day I need a bigger net, but I’m grateful.

Ummmm.

WOOOOOOT!!!!

(Just sayin’.)

I love you, Badger State. Despite all yer fuckin’ snow.

****

P.S. Obama is speaking to Texas on CNN. My Republican husband is noticeably riveted, and my three-year-old just said, “Mama, I wike yo boyfwend.”

My cup runneth over.

.

Thank you to all who participated in my first foray into Project Bribery = Readership. I was flat-out stunned by your response. It made me want to give something more back, to make this post grand! and entertaining! for all of you, not just the winners. I had big dreams for this post, friends.

I was going to take a series of photos of my kids working hard, writing down each person’s name (138 of you!), drawing the winners, checking the winners’ blogs to make sure they qualified. To make it even more effective, I was going to dress my kids up all official, find some business suits somewhere, slap on some shades, perhaps drive to Staples and photograph them with some briefcases, you know?

And the kids acted enthused about all this, but after writing out one name Gretta hurled the complimentary paper and pen at me and ran off to the hotel pool.

And when I tried to herd them in the rental car to shoot our magic at the Staples site, my husband gently reminded me that we are on vacation and that all this was perhaps a bit excessive, and didn’t we already just spend $75 on these people? I thought, You’re right, honey! That’s zany!

So then I decided I’d find some pictures of suits on Google images, and photoshop the girls’ heads on instead! No problem. Much less excessive and time-consuming. Not nearly as crazy. Right?

So I took this shot:

and then I took this shot:

Awesome, right?

But then I remembered I don’t actually know how to use my free 30-day Photoshop trial.

Then a whole bunch of other potential scenarios raced through my mind as the clock started ticking, like videotaping the kids drawing names, etc, but it all got to be so freakin’ complicated I finally decided to make an executive decision and just draw the things myself, dammit. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it more exciting.

So, without further rambling ado, the three winners are:

1. Five Husbands

2. Rock and Roll Mama

3. Julie @ The Calm Before the Stork

Congratulations, ladies! Please email your mailing address and I will send your prizes out tomorrow.

To the rest of you? Thank you for making my world a shinier place, for real. I wish you all could have won. As soon as I’m rich and famous and president and stuff? Barnes and Noble gift cards for all. Promise.

Now, I’ve got to run. We are boarding a plane to come home in one hour and our hotel room looks like this.

Oof.

I have yet to decide whether blogging has made me crazy — more obsessive, more insecure, more irrational — or if I was already all of those things to begin with, and the blogging experience has simply shone an excruciatingly bright, unforgiving, retail-store-dressing-room light on it. Or, maybe the two things (me, blogging) are like one of those unexpected chemical reactions, where you have the two seemingly benign liquids in the unsuspecting little beakers and and you pour them together into a fresh beaker and it disintegrates on the spot. And you’re all, Holy shit! …. Whoops.

I could give you about a billion and two examples of my blogging neuroses, but you’d barely be able to see these words with that freak flag flapping in your face. So today I am just going to talk about awards, and I’m going to try not to freak out like last time. I’m not going to put you through three paragraphs of hand-wringing (I already deleted those, you’re welcome) and I’m not going to go over it all again, how every list I write automatically excludes, how I cannot stand the thought of hurting anyone, how my blog is intensely personal and I know yours is, too and how it’s middle school all over again, standing there watching everybody get picked for the team except you — or worse, it’s like standing by watching your kid not get picked, I’m not gonna do that, not gonna go on and on, because then red flags will go up left and right for my spies, the real life people who watch over my shoulder and make sure I’m not getting sucked too deep down the blogging vortex of doom.

(Who, me?)

I’m just gonna quietly say thank you (thank you) and pass these awards on to a few people, a couple you’ve heard of but many you probably haven’t, and I’m not gonna go on and on about why they were chosen (I love you guys) and I’m not gonna hit publish and then go into the next room and howl and wail and gnash and bang my head against the wall because that would be ca – RAZY.

So.

Elisa over at Diary of an Unlikely Housewife gave me this (thank you, Elisa!)

I’m passing it on to:

Gwen at Woman on the Verge

Christine at Flutter

Chanda at Trapped Under Something Heavy

We Be Toys at Tapdancing on the Edge of Reason

Brian at The Cheek of God

……..

Both That Girl at Hey You! Remember Me?! and Tootsie Farklepants at Vintage Thirty gave me this (thank you guys!)

I’m passing it on to

Magpie Musing

Betsy Booms

Meg Casey

Nutmeg Reports

This Could Get Ugly

The Bean

Temporarily Me

……..

Have you ever written one of those posts you just know you shouldn’t publish?

Just asking. Hypothetically.

Off to find a paper bag…..