Okay, Fine, Dammit » TSA took my baby, @mybottlesup, and the trigger happy Internet

TSA took my baby, @mybottlesup, and the trigger happy Internet

October 17th, 2009

I was away from Twitter yesterday, or I probably would have re-tweeted it, too; Nic from My Bottle’s Up and her terrifying account of TSA agents separating her from her baby in the name of security. I logged on this morning, read Nic’s post, and expressed my sympathy for what she had endured. I believed her; partly because I’ve come to think of her as an Internet friend, and partly because I’ve been through something similar at the airport with my own children.

Within seconds of my supportive tweet I received several DM’s alerting me to the rest of the story–TSA has posted a rebuttal and a video that seems to indicate Nic made the whole thing up. The only response from Nic has been silence on Twitter, a deletion of the 300+ comments on her post, and now a blackening of her site. I tried to reach her and got no response. I don’t blame her.

Some people feel betrayed. Some people seem thrilled. I am neither.

What I am is concerned. As a journalist, I’ve been worried about my job for quite a while, about a business model that seems increasingly broken. As newspapers and magazines crumble across the country, social media as a primary news source soars. The balloon boy, false reports of celebrity death and, I think worst of all, impulsive, devastating mob mentality with incredible reach.

Sites like Twitter have eliminated that life-saving space in time between the foot and the mouth and, because of that, we speak without thinking every single day. It’s become the worst kind of habit. We retweet without checking sources, we circulate other people’s arguments without formulating our own, and we believe things we never would have believed before because we read it online so it must be true! Because any old Joe can build an impressive looking website and call it the news. Because formerly legitimate news sites are falling over themselves to take the twitter like square folks once took the pot. Because now, if a man at the grocery store witnesses a “crime,” he become the reporter. He uploads it and calls it news and it is taken at face value–no fact-checkers, no due diligence, no citing of sources. He has no accountability.

Of course I can see the ways that viral social media is good–the power to the people, the level playing field, the seemingly infinite availability of instant, free news. But, my friends, you get what you pay for.

None of us knows what actually happened between Nic and TSA agents. Thousands of us have speculated, and speculated quickly. First we took her word for it without question and quickly made it viral. Then we took TSA’s word for it without question and quickly made it viral. I can hear the thunder of the lynch mob, the gnashing teeth and angry spittle, and it scares me; how quickly we turn. How fiercely we spout rhetoric without a single fact. Worse, I feel sick about the venom spewing in her direction. Why so intense? Why so personal? If you’ve got good reason, fine–but do you? Have you really thought about why you’re feeling the way you are?

I appreciate debate. I’m grateful each of us has the ability and the right to say whatever we want to say. I only wish we took the time we used to take, back in the day, to think before speaking. To actually pay for and digest and value the news.

For me, this story isn’t about Nic. It’s about us.

148 Comments

Cecily says:

Good LORD you are one smart lady.

Debbie Brown Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
There is no question we are going through change. The reality is these changes have happened throughout history too. The War of the Worlds when people thought Aliens were attacking? The invention of the Marconi when people reacted to wireless transatlantic communication. The fast food stories with the finger in the chili?, the rat in in fast food, etc. etc.. these things will happen. What we have now is group conversations going very fast hitting the mainstream- speed, and that train has left the station. The question we should all be asking ourselves is how do we now adjust to the information.
It’s the same as always- TRUST- and verify. in combination, we should weed out the nonsense?

October 17th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Pgoodness says:

Well said my friend. As always.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:39 am
abdpbt says:

Wait, you mean there’s muck to rake and I’ve been sitting here eating cupcakes?! What have I become, Maggie?

Great post. Thanks for your insight.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:40 am
Holly says:

Very well said. After my mistake of tweeting and blogging this story frantically yesterday {and waking up to discover the TSA’s rebuttal} I’ve slowed down. I’m waiting things out a bit before I say anymore.

I think part of our drive to spread information is because we desire to be on the front lines of a story. We want to be the one that informed people, not the person who heard it last.

Adelas (Della) Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 9:55 am
I definitely agree. I want to be the one that was helpful. I know I personally tweeted the Atlanta Journal Constitution (or do I have that backwards).

If someone had their kid taken from them, something should be done about it, and I wanted to be part of the solution, of making sure that it was taken care of and the rest of us were protected.

Now I just feel like a flake.

Plus, you’d like to think that once you know someone a little, you can trust them not to lie to you. To everyone else, maybe, and you’d have to decide whether or not to support them in their lie (hopefully not), but not lying to you. How silly, to think that.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Erica says:

“I feel Twitter has eliminated that life-saving space in time between the foot and the mouth”

Genius quote. Absolutely true. While Twitter has many benefits, this is a major drawback.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:41 am
liv says:

Well, in general, this is about us, but Nic is one of the “us.” I don’t know this woman, have never read her, but I will say that I think a lot of this is also part and parcel of a craving for attention/fame/notoriety (however you choose to call it) that arises in the blogging world. Creating sensations, pulling posts, drama, etc… are nothing new. But, if your story is not completely legitimate, I’d say a government agency is the wrong group with whom make a sensation. I may be jaded, but I would think by now that if Nic truly stood by her story, she would have continued to post, respond to readers, and lead the charge for reform within the TSA. Silence is never a really good indicator of being eager to be with the truth bringing.

I have seen this before: A girl posts a photo of an engagement ring as a sign of victory, then her blog pals call her out as using another blog pal’s photo, and WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?! It means the perpetrator pulls the photo, takes a break from blogging, and then attempts to come back as if nothing ever happened.

The question to me is: Why do this? Why compromise all the good will you’ve generated on the internet/friends made, and to gain what?

October 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am
Aaron Smith says:

Great point about the ‘mob mentality’ of going viral. I do hope Nic finds some resolution in all of this. And I do hope that we can all learn how to be better news-sharers amongst our selves.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:42 am
frelle says:

I agree wholeheartedly, and thank you for so eloquently reminding us!

October 17th, 2009 at 9:43 am
Michael @badassdadblog says:

Well said. I will argue one fine point, though. I don’t think we were any slower to jump to conclusions in the bygone age before web 2.0. But back then we didn’t have such a free and instant platform to broadcast our first impressions. Now we do, and oh what mess we can make of it.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
You’re right–I didn’t articulate that well. We’ve probably always been this way as far back as witch hunts, but we didn’t have the awesome power of social media before to make it all happen so fast.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:48 am
Maria says:

Spoken like a real, legitimate blogger.

Thank you, so much.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:51 am
Tiffany says:

Yanno, I had similar thoughts while watching Balloon Boy. I believe I tweeted something along the lines of, “not everything needs to be live streamed!!”. I mean, seriously. What if they had opened that contraption and a dead little boy fell out? Gah!!! I’m with you. I sometimes miss the “old days” where things were fact-checked and hashed out, and we little people heard about it later on the Evening News….

October 17th, 2009 at 9:52 am
Miss Grace says:

I missed this all yesterday too, and am just catching up on all of the everything.

This is a well stated post.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:53 am
Mom101 says:

Nicely done.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Overflowing brain (Katie) says:

Maggie-
Thank you for writing this. I think you presented it reasonably and better than I ever could. It’s hard to make heads or tails of it, but I think it’s all to easy to jump on drama bandwagon and forget about each other.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
Colleen says:

This is a great post. I’m trying to wait to see what Nic has to say now. It’s hard.

I will say I think that people are so upset about it because they feel foolish for jumping on the RT bandwagon so quickly and vehemently. (I was not one of them. I didn’t think the story added up originally and was slightly irritated by it and therefore never commented or partook in that.) People do not like to be made fools of so there is a little anger from that, perhaps mis-directed at Nic herself. It’s hard to back off from yourself and admit that you were wrong for your actions, even if you were acting on misinformation.

I don’t know. I’m more disappointed than angry. Overall I just find the whole thing to be really sad. There is no win for anyone here. Nic, TSA, the rest of us. It’s sad.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:57 am
@agentninety9 says:

You’re right. We don’t know the whole story of what happened. It is however easy to speculate that Nic’s version is quite… imagined. I’d love to hear her response. I too have come to think of her as an internet friend. I was so upset upon hearing of her ordeal – as a mother, a friend, and most basically as a human being. I RT’d about her post. I believed her story. And why shouldn’t I have? Frankly, WHY would someone lie about that?

The TSA rebuttal footage was DM’d to me this morning. I was very surprised and I was a bit hurt too. Not just because the internet has made me feel like a gulible boob lately, but because I helped make it viral. I wanted to help a friend and now I feel like I aided in smearing the name of an organization because of it and that’s what makes me mad.

Trust is earned, yes. But in life, especially friendship and within the realm of this online community, it’s also given on faith. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe that most people hold their own integrity in high regard. The fact that two stories this week had me going makes me question my own judgement.

That just plain sucks.

I hope Nic responds soon.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:59 am
witchypoo says:

I’m no journalist, but you have just summarized my views on this topic beautifully.

October 17th, 2009 at 9:59 am
Heather says:

Nicely said. So many times we talk about integrity, and we believe that those we “read” or “know” are legit. It’s a shame that we’ve come to a point where we cannot believe—that we become skeptics and don’t just love our neighbors. And it casts a dark light on the blogging world in general. It makes us, as a whole, look like sensationalists out for our own goods…sigh.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:00 am
kathryn o says:

You make excellent points… especially about thinking before speaking. I just wish she had done the same before hitting that publish button.

Hopefully this will be a lesson to all to do the right thing, because even before the internet, liars are eventually shown for what they truly are…

Other ironic sidenote… Mybottlesup features “blog with integrity” on her blog. Sigh… if only.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:03 am
Julia says:

It is easy to jump in fast, on so many levels here in the land of Twitter. An important reminder for all of us and quite well said!

October 17th, 2009 at 10:05 am
bejewell says:

The difference here is, this was a BLOG, not a media outlet. People (myself included) believed Nic’s account of events, we took her at her word, but she hasn’t signed an oath, she’s not beholden to the same rules of ethics that apply to journalism.

I don’t know why she wrote what she wrote. For all I know, she took an experience she had and fictionalized it as a work of art, or some form of protest. Maybe her reasons were more sinister, but maybe they weren’t. I’ve learned not to speculate. People can surprise you.

What I DO know is, blogging is NOT journalism. Bloggers are not held to the same standards as journalists and I, for one, and very glad about that. If we were required to be factual about everything, I couldn’t write posts about stabbing men with awful eyebrows, or beating up the Holiday Sweater Lady at my office. Of course, I wrote those tongue-in-cheek, not in an attempt to deceive, but rather, to entertain — but where do you draw the line? I really don’t know.

The whole thing just makes me sad. And more than a little wary. And maybe that’s a good thing.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Beej, I’m not saying that blogs should be held to the same ethical standards as journalism at all–I’m saying the onus should be on us readers. We should be more discerning, more critical thinking, and the way social media has changed journalism has affected that tremendously.

bejewell Reply:
October 20th, 2009 at 6:25 pm
I know you’re not – I just find it all so depressing. I don’t WANT to have to read my favorite blogs with a grain of salt. I WANT to believe what I’m being told by people who SHOULDN’T have any reason to lie. And I DO worry that Nic’s current situation is just a precursor to more unwelcome changes in the Blogosphere…

October 17th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Chicken Liver says:

The site says, “Too much traffic” site taken down. This may have been put up the web service–whomever is hosting her site.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:05 am
PatrickInNC says:

There’s also a lot of pent-up hostility with this happening before the Heene family’s 15 minutes of fame were used up from the balloon hoax — yes, I’m flat-out calling it a hoax. A lot of anger out there.

It’s understandable to get frustrated with people who have Munchausen syndrome, or Munchausen by proxy syndrome. But it’s not productive to stay mad. For them or us. The best thing to do is encourage them to get treatment. And for the Christians among us, to pray for them.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:10 am
TherersaG says:

thank you for writing about this. Very well said, and thank you for the link to the TSA rebuttal.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:11 am
Scary Mommy says:

I was wondering why I was seeing traffic from her site. Huh.

You, my friend, have a way with the words.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:15 am
sarah says:

Great post. Lots to think about.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:19 am
SPM says:

So funny that you write this and we’ve been hashing over fact-checking all week.

I have several responses:

1. “Power to the people” has existed since time immemorial (see any revolution, including our own), so let’s be careful not to give viral social media too much credit. I think what social media *has* done, though, is give all of us a greater sense of that power – sometimes for the good and sometimes for the bad, as your post points out most excellently.

2. We didn’t actually “take the time, back in the day, to think before speaking.” People were not kinder or more thoughtful of their actions or even more polite – it just took a hell of a lot longer, then, to get our asshattery broadcast to the world.

3. I’m slowly coming to beleive that the internet really has ruined everything.

(Jesus, I don’t mean to be the fly in the ointment here, you know that right? Just responding to what I think is a well-posited and really though-provoking post.)

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
You’re right, and like I said to somebody up above, I didn’t articulate that part well; people have always been quick to judge and sensational–social media has made it so our version of the truth can be disseminated lightning fast and, because we’re getting so used to it, it makes us lazy readers. It’s also diluting “real” news sources, who are now unable to pay quality reporters, making the pool of unreliable news even larger. Witch hunts lit with iPhones instead of torches.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am
SPM says:

(P.S. “The twitter” and “the pot” cracked me up.)

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Okay, THANK YOU. I can’t believe no one else thought that was funny. I totally cracked myself up.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:27 am
ipodlesley says:

Your post was right on target, but the comments were surprisingly judgmental. And in the greater scheme of things, this episode is just not that important for people to get so riled up about. IMHO

October 17th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Ri says:

The fact that you’re a smart cookie is the cake. The beautiful way you write is the icing.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:29 am
The Mother Tongue says:

As a fellow journalist: thank you so much for this post.

The lack of accountability in social media, even as it’s begun supplanting more traditional reporting, is something that’s bothered me for a while.

Social media has an invaluable place, even in traditional journalism, but you can’t confuse one for the other. Social media is just a medium of communication. Journalism is (ideally) a way of communicating responsibly.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:30 am
Ann says:

Immediate gratification

Sound bites

Skimming

Your point resonates with me.

I watched the video and it reminded me how stressful traveling with my children is. Thank goodness I’m laid up in my bed.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Yeah, I’ve definitely been there. Though my kids weren’t taken away, I’ve been in that booth with them while we were all roughly handled (emotionally speaking) and they were quite scared and cried a lot. I was livid. I’m not sure what the facts are of Nic’s situation but something like that alone would have made for a decent blog post.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:36 am
MK says:

Dammit, you’re a good writer. And smart. And give me the goosebumps every time I read this blog.

I read the story – and felt so badly for the mother. But I don’t “know” her so I just clicked away and moved on. Guess I’m not that ‘hooked in’ yet?

October 17th, 2009 at 10:52 am
Boy Crazy says:

Again, sort of sitting back in wonder at this place I have recently stepped into (twitter, even blogworld). I was just thinking this morning about how crazy it is that people write on Twitter as if it’s not something that ANYONE can access. Anyone. People write with an intended audience, which may most of the time end up being their regular readers/followers. But anybody can find each and every one of these messages we put out there, and they can indeed come back to bite one in the ass.

Great post, Maggie.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:58 am
Jenni/mom2nji says:

I retweeted it all day yesterday. I 100% believed her. I just watched the rebuttal and I am now confused. I am also worried for her. I have no anger or hatred, just confusion and concern.

I had come to think of her as a friend too. We all, for the most part believe what comes from out friends, without question. And the mob mentality that comes as easy as hitting retweet, is scary. However in the right situation (like the Spohrs) it can also be moving and effective. I guess we have to take the good with the bad.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:04 am
Kat says:

Ugh. I miss all the scandalous news on Twitter during the day most of the time because I’m at work. The balloon boy wasn’t even a blip on my radar until it was over and done, which I considered a good thing because it was all a big nothing. So I’ve realized that I don’t miss much at all.

I feel for this lady; I travelled last year alone with a 3 year old, in a stroller, lugging a car seat, diaper bag, carry on, and my purse. I WAS separated from him during the security check and I was pissed. Nobody at TSA made the slightest attempt to help me get the stroller up on the belt, they made me take the carseat out of the bag and didn’t help with that either, all this needs two hands and in that time my child was waved thru. I know I raised my voice at them, they were so unconcerned about my little one getting away from me. It was the most harrowing trip I’ve ever taken and the attitude of the TSA screeners was terrible.

I watched the video and it’s clear that she was never separated from her baby. I feel sorry for her if the vitriol of the entire internet has landed on her for embellishing her experience, because that’s a harsh place to be. It’s kind of understandable, though, from the perspective of people who rallied to her defense and if she made up a lot of what she posted; which again, I didn’t see.

The solution, to me, is this, and I practice it religiously, probably from being online since the beginning of online life: stop. Verify, which is easy to do these days. Don’t pass things on that you haven’t had the chance to verify; consider them, let them marinate, see what happens in the space of a day. Don’t get angry at people who point out to you that something you’re spreading around the internet isn’t true…take it as a lesson learned. And be kind. That’s the biggest one, to me.

Chibi Jeebs Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
“…stop. Verify, which is easy to do these days. Don’t pass things on that you haven’t had the chance to verify; consider them, let them marinate, see what happens in the space of a day.”

Words to live by, that I will need tattooed to my forehead.

Thank you for this thoughtful post: this is the first I had heard of the… discrepancy. Feeling a bit foolish now.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Kat says:

Have to add that I just read Nic’s post (her site is up, I didn’t have any problem), and while it would be nice if people didn’t get upset, she was so adamant that her son was taken from her, and so dramatic in the telling of that…if it didn’t happen, it’s understandable that people would be angry that they believed the post. Because if the video is her, the post is a flat-out lie. We should all expect repercussions if we post like that, don’t you think? It is, hopefully, what keeps us from continuing to be a person who makes things like that up.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Interesting that you were able to read Nic’s post, I still can’t get there.

As for the video, she says it was edited.

Kat Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
That’s so weird, Maggie. I got there from her link on her Twitter profile, but now it doesn’t work. Just goes to a black page. But when I posted earlier, it went there fine. She must be having trouble with her site.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:16 am
Trish says:

I hope that those who consider themselves to be Nic’s “true friends” – you know, the ones who feel they knew her well enough to feel betrayed by what they think is a deception on her part – will do what they would do with a friend in “real life”.

That is, reach out to her, try to find out the truth, and give her the benefit of the doubt. If she has, indeed, lied to you, then you have every right to feel betrayed.

As for the rest of the people expressing shock and indignation at what happened: Did you have any kind of connection with Nic before this incident? Would you have considered her your friend? Would you do everything you could to help her if she was in need? No? Then why did you automatically believe this story – a story from a stranger – when it first came out? Why didn’t you take it with a grain of salt until you heard both sides of the story? Was it because it was on The Interwebz?

Look, I understand feeling compassion for a situation that seemed to involve a child and mother being hurt. But if you believe every story that comes across the Internet with the same single-mindedness, prepare yourself to be disappointed. A lot. Just because you read it, and just because a lot of people believe it, doesn’t mean you should believe it, too.

The alternative is to jump on the bandwagon of every legit-sounding story you hear, and then to feel “betrayed” if it turns out to be false. And *you* are the one who will look like a fool when you find out that “omigawsh someone LIED on the INTERNET!”

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I agree, Trish. Her real friends should withhold judgment until the facts are out, then make decisions from there–hopefully with a forgiving and generous heart. That’s what friends do.

liv Reply:
October 18th, 2009 at 9:25 am
Trish, Maggie: I will just submit that to a certain degree we are a community. Maybe it’s not like this anymore–I quit blogging regularly in July of 2008. It used to be that we were all on the same page to a degree, and erratic behavior or false stories just didn’t happen.

Friends do love friends, and I love my blogging friends, but the reality is that many states away, and without real face to face knowledge of each other, we can’t really vouch for each other. I mean, if I saw Maggie in a bar with a beer and eating some cheese, I’d vouch for her… but if I saw the Bloggess at 9 am in a breakfast place without some hooch, I couldn’t buy in. xoxo good post, Mags.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Karen Chatters says:

You like to think that what you read from a fellow blogger is true. I don’t know why, but I want to trust the people I read. I feel duped. It’s like that book Million Little Pieces, I took it at face value, thought it was (mostly) true. The book did say “Memoir” on it or something. If you’re going to post untruths, shouldn’t they need to be labeled as “fiction” or something? I know that’s a naive take on the internet and blogging world but I feel like she is one of “us”, one of me. When I write about my feelings, emotions and experiences, they are all true in fact or truth in how I’m feeling.

I appreciate your post. I absolutely RT’ed her post, even put it on my FB page. I took it as face value but won’t do that again. Which is sad because the next time someone really does have a legitimate story, I probably won’t believe it.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:20 am
flutter says:

I suppose my problem is, just as with social media, people blindly believe traditional media without doing their own due diligence as well.

The fact of the matter is that we are a society of instant gratification, we are a society of instant reaction.

I love Nic and I hope she’s okay.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
I hope she’s okay, too.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:23 am
jodifur says:

You know, when I first read the story I had my doubts, but I didn’t express them b/c really who cares? I kind of feel like in the end, the truth always comes out and in the blogosphere the cream rises to the top so to speak (mostly.) I think this was a great post and really, I hope the blogger in question gets any and all help she may need to get figure why this happened and get over this. I refuse to believe someone would fabricate a story like this for blog traffic. There has to be something else here.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
My instinct is the same as yours, that there has to be something else here.

jodifur Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
I agree, obviously.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
2Shaye says:

Absolutely! We all fall into those quick SM decisions. And even though I teach information literacy to college kids every year, though Twitter even *I* have retweeted something without FULLY checking legitimacy of a source. Because, like you, I have trusted people I’ve grown to know well through blogging and facebook and twitter and…

We all have to be aware of what we’re reading and continually remind ourselves that there’s no such thing as a completely non-biased and fully-informed news source. Every single second there’s something that requires investigation and tedious evaluation. To take responsibility for what we “report” requires dedication and commitment. Having said this, I also think we’re going to have to be a little gentler with one another when these things happen. We go out on a limb and trust someone we’ve built rapport with. And sometimes we’re wrong and can hopefully admit we were mistaken without all the finger pointing and bitterness that often comes when we feel our emotions have been betrayed. I deeply appreciate this necessary reminder.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle says:

You are always such a strong voice of reason.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Kerri Anne says:

I completely agree that this situation speaks to a much larger issue, but news sites vs. personal blogs and personal Twitter accounts are different entities and bound by different rules. That said, a personal site is the very last place I expect someone to fabricate a story, especially one so personal, and one that attacks and seeks to slander an entire company.

Thank you for this post.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:21 pm
I agree that news vs personal sites are different–I didn’t articulate that well up there. My feeling is that the dilution of “the media” has tarnished our ability to critically read anything at all, and made us lazy. And, believe it or not, there are many people who get the bulk of their news from social media.

Kerri Anne Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
I totally agree. For better or worse, Twitter itself has become a sort of “breaking news” center for all of us.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:33 pm
SuburbanOblivion says:

You had me right up until this line-

“Then we took TSA’s word for it without question and quickly made it viral.”

Had TSA simply posted a written reply I would have doubted them. However, I watched the video. All 10 minutes of it. At no time is she separated from her baby.

Unless TSA has completely fabricated the video, I consider that ‘proof’, not ‘without question’.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm
Well, from what I understand, a lot of people are questioning the editing of that video. Nic herself says the video is edited. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t–I’m not making a decision without more information–but that’s what I meant about not necessarily taking TSA’s view without question.

There’s a comment down below that says it better than I am.

Mary Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 3:15 pm
I’m curious as to which part could have been edited. First of all, reading through the original post, there is no cut that could have removed every single accusation of the woman’s. The most “dramatic” cut is from the holding area to the seating area. For them to have edited something out, they would have had to stop her and make her stand between the holding area and the seating area while all the terrible things happened. I don’t think anything was cut out there; the transition seems smooth and she’s even holding her child in the same position.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
B says:

This is a wonderful post. I hope Nic doesn’t have a huge falling out with people that she thought were her friends. I know how that feels and it feels horrible.

October 17th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
pamela ~ the dayton time says:

I was away from Twitter yesterday, and missed all the drama.

I did, however, watch the TSA video, and the thing that struck me is all that was wasted and given up in that 15 minutes. It makes me wonder.

October 17th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
Joy says:

I find myself suspicious of the TSA and the video that they have posted. What means do any of us have to verify that the video they have presented us with is uneditted, and so on. Why on earth would an entity that is in the right post any sort of rebuttal to a completely fabricated event?

I don’t read Nic, nor am I a government employee, but, I don’t pretend to myself for one moment that either side is blameless. But for a government, or quasi-government agency to throw a citizen to the wolves of public opinion like that, is reprehensible. If she were truly being defamatory and libellous in her post, wouldn’t they (shouldn’t they?) have responded in an entirely different manner???

I’m still left with more questions than answers, and am still waiting for more facts to be verified, rather than rely on what boils down to two opposing blog posts.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
Nic says the video was edited. I still don’t know what happened, but I’m open to listening.

ASeth Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
The timestamps on the video are what really make Nic’s version of events…problematic.

She claims the video was edited. Missing time: 20 seconds between the overhead view of the x-ray conveyor and the view of the holding box (11:01:40, 11:02:00), then 19 seconds between that view and the view of the search table area (11:04:12, 11:04:31).

The only other missing part is about 5 minutes of standing in line at the beginning.

Editing video is one thing, but it’s _extremely_ difficult to fake timestamps, even if you know what you’re doing.

Beyond the timestamps are all of the other things happening in the video – during key parts of her story, there is no sign of editing (people moving through don’t suddenly appear or disappear).

Could that be edited together with people & actions that weren’t necessarily going on? Sure. But that’s a very time-consuming process, requiring a certain level of expertise. Assuming that TSA _did _contract with people from Industrial Light and Magic to edit this video, they still would not have released the video when they did–that sort of editing takes days.

I understand that people are sympathetic to Nic and want to give her the benefit of the doubt. But at this point, what Nic’s basically saying is ‘THE TSA TOOK MY BABY AND THERE’S A SOPHISTICATED GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY TO COVER IT UP.”

And that, I think, is why some of the responses to Nic’s apology are so hostile. She not only made a non-apology, playing the ‘Rashamon’ card, but she’s in essence insulted the intelligence of everyone who watched the video.

PM Reply:
October 19th, 2009 at 12:13 am
@ASeth:

“BlackRose: you, like Nicole White, don’t know anything about video editing. The timestamps on the video are what really make Nic’s version of events…problematic.
…
Editing video is one thing, but it’s _extremely_ difficult to fake timestamps, even if you know what you’re doing.”

I don’t believe the videos are faked either, but your comment makes it obvious you didn’t really look at the video (unless the low-res version is fundamentally different from the high-res version I’m looking at, which would be odd).

Sure, if the timestamp text was directly overlaid on the background video it would be difficult to change. But the timestamp here is in a black bounding box. There’s no changing background to worry about. Anything in that strip of black could have been easily modified without touching the rest of the video at all. I could do it with a simple free tool like VirtualDub in minutes. A timestamp on a solid background is next to useless as proof against tampering. Since it’s superimposed by hardware or software you can’t even compare ambient noise with the rest of the video to gauge similarity. You’d have to believe they went beyond a simple “choosing when to cut” to “active deception”, which I don’t, but there’s no technical proof that they didn’t.

“Beyond the timestamps are all of the other things happening in the video – during key parts of her story, there is no sign of editing (people moving through don’t suddenly appear or disappear).”

You’re right, they would have a hard time editing bits out in the middle of a CONTINUOUS SHOT because of all the other motion in the background. They could do it in the latter portion when Nic is seated and there’s much less background motion, by just concentrating on her and the TSA’s area of the frame if nothing else, but that’s definitely another level of expertise I’m not willing to credit them with on such short notice.

HOWEVER, if you don’t assume the timestamps are correct, (and there’s no technical reason why you must) then there’s also no way to tell how much time elapsed between cuts to different camera views. The background completely changes at those cuts whether it’s only skipping a couple seconds or ten minutes, and the views are different enough that there’s not much that’s constant between them to judge by. Again, not saying I think that happened, but there’s also no technical proof they didn’t without gaining access to the original version of all the raw footage. It just wouldn’t be that hard to do if they were so inclined.

I personally believe that her panic attack inspired some memory revision, which is understandable in someone with that kind of condition placed under stress. But if you’re going to come down as the voice of knowledge and authority, completely ruling something out based on your expertise and belittling the opinion of the uninitiated, you should really stop and think about it first. Implying that something which is relatively straightforward would be impossible without a full restaging or the efforts of George Lucas doesn’t exactly make you look like an expert yourself.

October 17th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Heather of the EO says:

The longer I’m involved in this Twitter/blog world, the more I learn to be careful.

I love this post. Maybe IT should go viral.

People love drama, to be a part of drama, not realizing it’s never worth it, it’s only hurtful. Like you said, we all just need to stop, JUST STOP for even a moment and think things through before responding. Most of the time, it’s best to just sit back and let some time pass. Respond rather than react.

I want to believe that Nic will reach out to those that she’s developed true relationship with. And if she does admit her story was exaggerated, I hope she’s met with some grace. Maybe I’m a sucker or a push-over or whatever, but I’d just rather err on the side of unconditional love and all that mushy stuff. And forgiveness.

I care about Nic, mistake or not. It’s funny how even though blogging makes a person’s life other people’s business…it’s still not our business. So confusing.

The End.

October 17th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
Jack says:

Foot in mouth syndrome has a long history that pre-existed the net. The biggest issue now is the speed with which we can spread rumors and or embarrass ourselves.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
You’re absolutely right. I’ve had to correct myself in several comments above. I may just copy and paste your comment, though, for further explanation–it says it all.

October 17th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Dawn says:

Bravo! Thank you! I saw people posting Twitters about the story last night (Nic’s account) and I couldn’t believe strangers were automatically siding with this person. In my own mind I wanted to check the sources, see what TSA was saying, I felt it to be odd and off… I was skeptical and shrugged it off thinking it was a decent piece of fiction and went to bed.

By morning all the people who were outraged for this woman were now showing the TSA video, taking a complete 180 in their stance.

It’s mind boggling how quickly people will believe anything and practically everything. Times like these I’m glad I’m hesitant and a skeptic.

October 17th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
PsychMamma says:

Wonderful post & I completely agree about the dangers of considering social media a “news source” and even with being cautious with information we receive from what we consider “credible” news sources these days.

BUT, I’m with Kerri Anne & SuburbanOblivion above. “A personal site is the very last place I expect someone to fabricate a story, especially one so personal, and one that attacks and seeks to slander an entire company.” That may be what bothers me most. Her post, and its dishonesty, had the potential to harm people (& a govt agency) that was just doing it’s job. PEOPLE. People that she was (essentially) shouting for us to demonize & punish through any media post possible, with hints at legal action.

I hesitate to pick up a pitchfork too quickly. I’m granting Nic the same grace. I’m interested in hearing her response, and I worry about her at the same time that I feel sad for her.

Given the fact that Nic was shouting about legal action, seeking monetary compensation, publishing her story wherever possible, I feel that TSA had every right to post the video that it did. And, as SuburbanOblivion pointed out, “Unless TSA has completely fabricated the video, I consider that ‘proof’.” It seems unlikely that TSA would (or could) fabricate such a video.

It might be hard to trust again, but I hope that people can see past all the crazy drama & hatefulness and remember that Nic is a PERSON. We all make mistakes. Extend a little grace. Put down the pitchforks.

October 17th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
vodkamom says:

wow. Why are we so quick to judge- one way or the other?

I think when a baby or children are involved, our hearts feel obligated to jump……

perhaps……

October 17th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
jonniker says:

To be honest, I cannot stop following this story. I just can’t. I’m not really angry or … or anything but confused and weirdly riveted.

I will also say that I’m worried about her. I don’t know her at all, but I get the idea that she’s got some stress and anxiety problems from what she’s said, and no matter what the truth is behind this scenario, it can’t be good for her. In that, we have to remember that she’s a person.

I will say, however, that if it turns out to be a lie, then yes, people have every right to be angry. People were angry when they felt lied to when James Frey lied to them, and that wasn’t anything but a stupid BOOK. This is … well, this is sort of a representation of our community, in a way, and I’m not saying that’s right, I’m saying that’s sort of how it will be portrayed. And that it started from something that could have been prevented will be … angering for many, and rightfully so.

Yes, people have culpability for re-tweeting it and spreading it, and to be honest, I don’t think she expected that kind of reaction, or thought through the consequences. Did she think she’d be linked on Fark and Reddit and read by thousands? Did she think the TSA would find the video and POST IT? Of course not.

My own personal opinion, which is worth very little, is that there is a little more to the story than what we see on the silent video, but that … well, that the video is mostly accurate.

It is a very, very big leap for me to make to think that the TSA would edit a video and make it public like that. The potential consequences for them are far greater than those for an individual. But again, that is simply the thoughts I have on the video itself. It may have FELT different for her, and there may be other things at play, I don’t know.

But no matter what the outcome here, we have to remember that we DO have a responsibility, on some level, to write as close to a representation of the truth as we can, particularly of events like this when they happen to us. And yes, we should think before we re-tweet.

I am, frankly, a little afraid of how far she’s willing to take this, and how far they’re willing to go in response. I wish it would just end, and that they could/would resolve it privately. The spectator sport portion should end here and now.

PatrickInNC Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
Couldn’t agree with you more. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along …

October 17th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
Aunt Becky says:

There’s a reason I try to steer clear of the drama and this is it. Well said, Maggie.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Lynette says:

This is an amazing post. I had read Nic’s post & was horrified that something like that could happened. As a mother, I would have had a complete meltdown if would have been me.

TODAY I get on twitter and Nic’s being called a liar. I have to say, I don’t know why somebody would like about such a thing, but I don’t know Nic well enough to say that she wouldn’t. THAT’S not a judgement, just a fact.

Another fact? I’m not rushing to judge either way, because I wasn’t there. And I feel horrible for her still. This is much too public a forum to have to go through this kind of drama. Also? I can’t imagine a govt agency going the malicious twitter route. The whole thing is just SO much.

Anyways, I hope she knows that everyone is not waiting for the chance to burn her at the stake. And I hope her friends (blog ones, IRL ones, twitter ones) are there for her in what is clearly a time of need.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:10 pm
Christy B says:

I was horrified yesterday when I read the original post.

I was shocked today when I saw the video.

After watching the video I thought that the TSA agent’s inspection took sooooo long. I also have read MANY comments that the video has been edited.

So, I watched it over and over making note of the time stamps, breaks in the video and descriptions.

Here are the time stamps of the camera angle changes:

11:01:11 overhead view of security screening, Mom putting stroller on x-ray conveyer, leaves baby on floor w/back turned
11:01:40 going through metal detector, baby in arms

11:02:00 coming through metal detector, baby in arms
11:04:12 exited “holding box” and walking out of frame behind TSA agent, baby in arms

11:04:31 entering frame, baby in arms, 2nd level security check
11:10:30 Mom leaving inspection area, baby in stroller

11:10:32 Mom entering concourse, baby in stroller
11:10:41 Mom leaving camera view

Here are the time stamps and descriptions of any “major” activity:

11:04:38 Female TSA agent #1 brings over stroller, baby in Mom’s arms
11:05:28 Male TSA agent #1 comes over to “inspect” baby, baby in Mom’s arms
11:05:38 Male TSA agent #1 finished “inspecting” baby, baby still in Mom’s arms
11:05:42 Mom gets up to put baby in stroller
11:06:04 Mom finished putting baby in stroller
11:06:12 Mom stands up to begin security inspection by Female TSA agent #2 – facing baby in stroller
11:06:56 Mom rolls up left pant leg and “something” appears on the floor
11:07:11 Female TSA agent #2 agent takes that “something” and puts it area for further hand/visual inspection
11:17:18 Male TSA agent #2 takes that “something” out of camera view
11:08:32 Male TSA agent #2 or 3 brings “something” back and sets on table for Mom
11:07:20 Female TSA agent #2 begins another inspection – facing baby in stroller
11:09:34 Female TSA agent #2 ends inspection – Mom still facing baby in stroller
11:10:30 Mom leaving inspection area, baby in stroller
11:10:32 Mom entering concourse, baby in stroller
11:10:41 Mom leaving camera view

Longest time stamp break: 19 seconds **this was BEFORE she claims TSA took the baby
Total time of TSA Security interaction: 9 minutes and 30 seconds
Total time of TSA direct inspection of Mom: 3 minutes and 22 seconds **I think it took so long because of that “something” that came out of her pant leg (possibly a knee brace?)

In actuality it wasn’t too terribly long, quite reasonable really.

Unless the TSA reenacted the video with a look-a-like, ala America’s Most Wanted, I doesn’t look to me like the video was edited.

*****My take on the balloon family: it wasn’t a hoax, the boy was hiding but the Dad, like Papa Joe Jackson, seizes ANY opportunity for self-promotion.

And finally, loved this entry and the need to reflect on why we get so caught up in this stuff. I do have to say though, that without all of this attention there would be no way to verify the story as the only reason the TSA released the video was because of the uproar.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
CharmingBitch says:

I missed this story as it unfolded yesterday so of course it’s easy to come into a story that is in the process of being picked apart and say, ”Oh. Well I would have never believed it anyway.” But…that said: Really, y’all?

All those with backs up in righteous indignation, have you flown lately? Or ever? Cursing and showing out as she described with the TSA would have guaranteed two things: She would not have flown anywhere and the authorities would have been involved. Period.

It’s funny that James Frey was mentioned. I thought the same thing of his book because the first few pages describe him as being bloodied, disheveled and vomit covered. Have you seen anyone allowed to fly in that condition, ever? No. And if you’re willing to lie about that then why bother reading the rest of the book expecting a truthful recollection?

That said, I don’t for one minute believe this blogger made this up or fabricated it for attention. Did she ask for the story to be spread and re-tweeted? Yes. And I don’t think that was for any reason other than she honestly believes that is what occurred. Anxiety can torque a mind and slinging mud and pointing fingers is not the cure.

Compassion costs nothing. Seething rage can cost everything.

ASeth Reply:
October 17th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
“Seething rage can cost everything.”

So very, very true.

Of course, it was _Nic’s_ “seething rage” that kicked off this entire sequence of events. And she made it clear on her Twitter feed that she was hoping the story could be picked up so that she could be paid for it.

So…yeah. The chickens came home to roost, and Nic’s “seething rage” will likely cost her everything.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Coast Rat says:

As you point out, if one adopts twitter as one’s source for news, one runs the high risk of getting incorrect, inaccurate and unverified news reports. Really, folks, there is a world of life out there that one can survive in, without needing a twitter fix to be sure you are really enjoying it. Put your phone in your pocket, leave it there, stick your head outside, and breathe… chances are, you’ll actually survive.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:44 pm
mamatulip says:

What you said about Twitter is one of the reasons why I don’t use it anymore. I find Twitter overwhelming; I get this looming sense of largeness from it – like it’s bigger than me, bigger than all of us, in a huge way – and to be honest, that makes me uncomfortable.

I think, if I weren’t running a fever and hacking up my lungs on to my brown polyester suede couch, I could respond better to this post. But I’m a bit dellusional right now. As always, Maggie, you say the things I wish I could say but are too tongue-tied to say.

I don’t know the blogger in question at all, but my hope is that whatever happened to Nic, that she and her family are okay.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Christy B says:

Charming Bitch – if you read her tweets she claims first that she isn’t going to blog about it because she wanted to be PAID for the story.

“@antibob eh, i can put it on my blog, but get paid if someone picks up my story… MWUAHAHAHA…. pay me for my insanity!!!!
6:52 PM Oct 15th from TweetDeck in reply to antibob”

For whatever reason she changed her mind later and published the story.

October 17th, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Wisconsin Mommy says:

I missed all of the drama on Twitter, and am glad I did. Having travelled quite a bit, I have had numerous frustrating expereinces with all aspects of air travel at on time or another and would have been horrified to think that this happened to another mother.

I do think many of us bloggers have the inclination to exaggerate and “spin a yarn” as my grandmother used to call it. I myself have told stories where I have a quick reply that, in reality, I acyually WISHED I had said. The onus lies in making sure that these exaggerations do not come at the expense of anyone else’s feelings or reputation. This is where I think Nic may have stepped over the line (assuming the TSA video is accurate).

I do think your question to readers about why they are reacting so personally to the whole situation brings up some interesting issues. This is why I love reading your blog – I always walk away with something to ponder

October 17th, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Mojo,NC,USA says:

The sensationalist mentality isn’t new, nor is it the exclusive province of social media. Tune into any major network after the “legitimate” news is over in the evening and you’ll find a steady stream of “news” that … well, I don’t know if I question the accuracy of it, just the newsworthiness of it. (I often wonder — sometimes out loud — how much anybody really cares if Kelly McGillis is gay or Sarah Jessica Parker’s dress was worn by somebody else before she took it on the red carpet. This is news? Seriously??)

At the same time I recognize that there are journalists who still treat the work with the respect it’s due (present company included). It just seems that a great many of them are either retired or dead now, or were lost in one of the Great Purges of the 00’s.

This is just one more reason I have avoided getting caught up in the Twitter frenzy. Besides being a time sink, it’s the biggest “back fence” in history. I’m not a journalist, I don’t even play one on TV, but I try really hard to make sure I have my facts straight before I announce it to the world, or failing that, to at least distinguish between fact and opinion. Because how embarrassing to have to publish a retraction. Even for an amateur.

And as usual… your writing is insightful and… brilliant.

October 17th, 2009 at 5:01 pm
my apologies @ My Bottle’s Up says:

[...] that being said, i just ask that you maybe take a step back… in my opinion Elliott.org had a fantastic take on this entire incident that gave me [...]

October 17th, 2009 at 5:10 pm
CharmingBitch says:

”Charming Bitch – if you read her tweets she claims first that she isn’t going to blog about it because she wanted to be PAID for the story.”

I get that, I understand that. I never said her story was true; I said the story she was telling (and possibly trying to sell) is what she believed to have happened.

October 17th, 2009 at 5:22 pm
always home and uncool says:

Maggie: You give us (former) journalists a good name. Well done.

October 17th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Woman STILL Accuses TSA | Eye On Annapolis says:

[...] that being said, i just ask that you maybe take a step back… in my opinion Elliott.org had a fantastic take on this entire incident that gave me perspective [...]

October 17th, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Mom On The Run says:

I followed that story on Twitter this morning too. I bet there’s more to the story than meets the eye. I’m sure TSA showed in the video what they awanted us to see.

I just wrote a somewhat related post – How to Use Social Networking to Boost Your Reputation. Like you said – anyone can start a website/blog and what is written on it will be taken as credible, especially if it’s written with credibility. Is this good? Bad? Dunno – only time will tell.

Visit me @ http://www.momontherun.net

October 17th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
Fran says:

I’m fascinated. I keep wondering – how would the world react if it was discovered Dooce never owned a Maytag?

I get what you’re saying, Maggie. This is about us. My thoughts are here (http://bit.ly/1×1cjz) because my comments grew into a post.

I love you.

October 17th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
mysuestories says:

Ok..First admission? I did not read the prior 92 comments entirely.
Second Admission? I loved your post.
I have to say, I miss my newspapers, which ARE currently becoming defunct. Newsday on Long Island? Not even half it’s size 3 yrs ago.

Our older children would rather take their laptop into the bathroom, as oppossed to a newspaper…
Me? I LIKE to read my news…At my leisure. In black and white…
Sad, but true….my kids’ children? Won’t even understand the concept of waiting 24 hours for news updates. Newspapers? Are the new fossil Dinosaurs…soon to be extinct>
Yet, I will miss them!!!

October 17th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo says:

I guess one of the benefits of living on the other side of the world is I am usually asleep during the initial twitter outrages. Facts are checked and tempers taken off the boil by the time I check in.

October 17th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Maura says:

I have no connection to this story whatsoever, as I missed it entirely (which kind of amazes me). But the points you make are very salient. Our willingness to jump on things on social media without a second thought is troubling.

October 17th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Chris says:

I have been concerned for some time about what feels like the erosion of critical thinking of any kind in our society. I had not really connected it to social media until this post, either as a potential contributing factor or potential devastating effect. Thanks for the insight. And the (as usual) elegantly written post.

October 18th, 2009 at 4:50 am
Motor says:

I wonder what was found in the bag tape to the left calf of the woman being searched?

I also wonder why she attempt to go through TSA with something covertly that taped to her left calf, under her jeans?

Lastly, I suspect that if you view the TSA video, stopping the video at the point of where the item was placed on the TSA check station..you may come to the conclusion that whatever that item is, you could conclude, possibly, that it may bring embarrassment if whatever it is, is identified by TSA. But attempting to sneak it, or anything, past TSA, taped to your leg? Come on.

October 18th, 2009 at 8:09 am
amy says:

baby I love yr ways.

October 18th, 2009 at 8:49 am
MayoPie says:

This is an excellent take on this situation. And I’m probably as guilty as anyone, maybe even more guilty as I’ve lead a twitter lynch mob against William Shatner. It was a big joke, but it amazed me how quickly people jumped on board without even knowing the facts. “It’s like “Who? Why? Whatever.” However, here’s how we’ve evolved. Before when lynch mobs were formed, stuff got burned to the ground and people died. In this case, the other side of the story circulated as quickly as the original accusation. The accused had an opportunity to use the same forum for its defense. Nic admitted being dramatic, but make no mistake, the TSA are inconsistent, flippant, and like in any job, some are abusive of power and in their case, some enjoy having the kind of authority that can put you in Guantanamo if you misbehave. And it’s not just the TSA, it’s anyone working in an airport since 9/11. I had 5 police around me once because I raised my voice at a baggage claim service attendant who was giving me a hand to the face (well before the voice raising.) But your point is well taken, I only point out the other side. Legitimate news sources have historically been biased, have been known to fabricate stories, maybe announce some election results early… and they’re more dangerous because when they say it, people really do believe it. And you can at least be assured that someone can’t just make an accusation without the accused being heard immediately, in their own words.

October 18th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Ginny says:

I had not heard of Nic, or the surrounding brouhaha until this morning. Sweet jebus. The thing I wonder, that you touched on, Maggie, is why in the flaming hell people (trolls) get so outraged in comment sections of posts that don’t affect them personally. It really convinces me that the world can be divided into two camps. And some days I feel like that other camp is slowly getting bigger.

Wonderful post, Maggie.

liv Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:21 am
In the interest of clarity, it has always been my impression that a troll is someone who comes to a blog expressly for the purpose of saying something ugly, like, “you’re a big, fat, wart-covered cow.” that has no basis in reality or relevance to a post. A comment that is directly in opposition to a post which arises from feelings generated from the reading is different. Nic has created a lot of waves by her accusations, and people have had visceral reactions. Maybe they’re angry because they feel lied to. Maybe they are outraged that they would get caught up in believing in her only to be let down. That’s not a troll–that’s a person who feels ripped off; as if their belief in humanity has been compromised. When a person feels invested in a story or another human’s plight, it’s natural to feel bitterly let down when details come out to compromise the story.

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:31 am
Yeah, there’s definitely a difference between people who are personally hurt by this and anonymous people screaming horrible things.

October 18th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Undomestic Diva says:

So, so very true.

This is why, even when some of my twitter friends are adamant about a particular issue, cause, concern, etc. on Twitter and in the blogosphere I tend to back away… I just don’t like being caught up in the drama of it all because yes, there are definitely a lot of legitimate causes and concerns and arguments to be had out there. But mostly? It’s a battlefield where women (and men, but let’s face it – mostly women it seems) end up pitting themselves against each other instead of joining strengths and the fickleness of it all just makes me head hurt. I can’t be a part of it.

October 18th, 2009 at 12:41 pm
Lois says:

I’m a journalist, too, for 30 years now, and I’m watching with great interest how blogs, etc., unfold. But I have to tell you that I feel lucky I am a journalist who grew up writing within clear rules of accountability. We’re all treating everyone like they know the dos and don’ts and how could they possibly. I feel bad for Nic. And this, too, shall pass.
I think vicious comments are one of the worst things to ever happen to maintstream journalism, too, because then you start trying to please trolls. Thanks for a well-reasoned and compassionate post.

October 18th, 2009 at 1:08 pm
Rebecca says:

I think that there are as many sides to any story as there are people involved plus one more side called the truth which is hardly ever disclosed. Even, as you will see, with a video, because who knows, maybe it was edited. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m terrified to travel with my 2 year old son because he wears a brace from toe to hip that has lots of metal on it. He also has two metal rods in his tiny little leg. I don’t want to travel with him, because I just don’t want to take a risk of losing him somewhere due to TSA.

October 18th, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Miss Britt says:

Well said, Maggie.

And as someone who DOES pay more attention to Twitter than CNN and, so, inadvertently ends up getting my news from there – I really appreciate the reminder about how we have all taken fact checking for granted.

October 18th, 2009 at 4:42 pm
Audrey at Barking Mad says:

Beautifully said Maggie.

October 18th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Mr lady says:

This is PRECISELY why I quit twitter. PS: As if I didn’t already admire you too much, your take on this has cemented it. You may need to get a restraining order.

October 18th, 2009 at 7:07 pm
Issa says:

I have so much I want to say, but I can’t find the words. Sigh.

I’m sad. I’m hurt. Because I trusted her. She was my friend. But facts are facts.

Thank you for writing this Maggie. I agree with you. Fully.

October 18th, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Why we must keep writing. « Toddler Planet says:

[...] do we stop ourselves before we RT (retweet), spread information on our own blogs, and the like? Maggie, Dammit reminds us all of a simple fact: Check sources, and verify before reposting or retweeting. Many [...]

October 18th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
Bloggers can be such gutless wonders says:

[...] We’ve proven that we are willing to be shills for as little as $5. We’ve proven that we act as mob with knee jerk reactions. As of today we’ve also proven, not for the first or sadly the last time, that we are willing to [...]

October 18th, 2009 at 11:18 pm
patois says:

We feel like we’ve been taken. (Well, those who were at their twitters and readers in real time do.) We want to believe that “known” people in our lives wouldn’t pull the wool over our eyes. We’re willing to accept that people stretch the truth for the sake of a good story, but we never expect them to LIE (in capital letters, bold-faced and italicized). We don’t associate with liars. We’re not going to be taken in by the National Enquirer and the like.

And then we are. And we feel foolish. And we want to extract revenge to somehow get back our good name and good intentions.

At least I think that’s how it goes. As for me, I’ll believe it when I hear it on CBS News. Oh, wait, that’s where I first heard about Balloon Boy.

SIGH.

October 19th, 2009 at 6:49 am
Mandy says:

Well written.

It’s this whole phenomenon around the blog world that has caused me to stop blogging… somewhere, dare I say directly after, BlogHer’09.

For a year (or more), I’ve felt the same unease regarding the mob mentality of bloggers in general. I didn’t like what happened with the Motrin ad, with the various mommy wars and the entire scene in general. I don’t even like the “Blog With Integrity” movement, even though there’s nothing particularly offensive about what is written in the “manifesto”.

I think the blogging world is about to collapse on top of itself. I’m curious to see how it reforms.

October 19th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Loralee says:

I posted with many of the same thoughts, though I am glad to see your focus more on the journalist side and need for credibility.

I have been SO guilty of rushing and I’ve vowed to slow down before jumping on the emotionally driven band wagon and make sure it is a ride I want to take.

You iz the bee’s knees, woman. I luff you long time.
xo

October 19th, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Postmarc says:

Good God, you’ve stirred up quite a pot, Dammit. As the quality of journalism, or what passes for such these days, drops, it is as if we have abandoned the adage “Trust, but verify”.

At least a viral email can be recalled after someone points out that snopes.com debunked the story in the past.

With Twitter, there is no check and balance. With Wikipedia, anybody can become an instant editor until maybe the fake facts are checked. It scares the hell out of me.

Unless you employ what we all have varying degrees of–common sense and patience. Ready, Fire, Aim was never a good approach.

October 20th, 2009 at 5:34 am
gorillabuns says:

I guess I should be glad to know that I have no clue what you are talking about since I haven’t been on Twitter in over a week and my Scrabble games are sadly lacking. Yea, now there’s a life for you.

October 20th, 2009 at 6:45 am
Devedander says:

Why do I feel so strongly? Because a claim like kidnapping is a very serious one and carries with it severe consequences… like yelling fire in a crowded theater you must be careful and responsible when using it as the damage can be severe.

An accusation of this type is very important and not to be abused lightly. Because of that a false accusation is equally strong and it’s abuse merits just as much response as the actual action would have.

Think about it… no one would argue a rapist deserves major backlash and attention… but why not a false rape accusation? It absolutely should… the damage is no less and the victim just as innocent. The same here… in fact I hold that kidnapping is just as bad a violation of a person as raping them and so it’s false accusation should bear just as much burden.

People who make these false accusations hurt everyone and most noteably those who are truly victims. Think of all the people with legitiamte issues that must now bear the burden of knowing their words are watered down because of the actions of this one blogger.

So why do I feel so intense? Why is it so personal? Becuase it should be to everyone. An abuse of humanitarian support like this is something that does effect everyone and should NOT be taken lightly. It strikes at one of the few goods left in humanity and violates and demeans it. Crying wolf doesn’t just hurt the child, it hurts the whole village and in fact all the villages around.

October 20th, 2009 at 11:22 am
melissa says:

This is an excellent post and I couldn’t agree with you more. I retweeted because I felt strongly about the first post. It’s unfortunate that my guard is back up because of it. Things can get ugly very quickly and I will most likely sit on things for a bit and dive a little deeper in before I support now.

October 20th, 2009 at 11:43 am
Jen says:

What bothers me here isn’t that this woman almost certainly lied (barring the explanation that she’s too nuts to know the difference). I have no love for the TSA. They were obnoxious to her. Maybe she was trying to go them one better. OK. If that’s the case, I wish she’d just admit it.

The problem I have is that, faced with convincing evidence she lied (and *no* evidence she told the truth) some people still want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Or they want to make half-a$$ed conclusions about the truth being “somewhere in the middle”.

I’m not saying we have to (or *should*) e-lynch her. But we can’t possibly *believe* her…

The only way we can navigate this info-overload world is to get better at discerning fact from fiction.

One doesn’t help that cause by promulgating theories about lightning-fast government cover-ups complete with faked videos.

Maybe some more evidence will come out that will change our view of the situation. But for now, we *have* to conclude she lied (or hallucinated). No other explanation makes any sense…

October 20th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
Therese says:

Amen! I have similar thoughts that I have posted in the comment section of the post here http://www.elliott.org/blog/a-little-advice-for-nicole-white-the-tsa-and-anyone-traveling-with-kids/comment-page-1/#comment-25707 in regards to the hatred people are spewing.

October 20th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
mamie says:

here via a link from neil and headed back there soon to finish his post. i came hear intrigued by his link. i leave here appreciative of your writing but even more appreciative of the fact that the world of media is much less present in my life than i thought.

i knew nothing of the ballon boy until days later…and have never heard of nik but i feel a bit sad for the fact that she wrote what she did if it is false, and a bit sad for the lashing she is taking for that falsehood. it speaks so to the lack of real connection fostered by the knowing of each other via screens.

i am even more determined to leave some of this behind, some of this disconnect. already i am paring away at my reader, elimnating folks that do not have some note of positivity and joy to share. and i do hope that the wrath of the internet eases on her. i think you may have moved that along nicely with your post.

October 20th, 2009 at 9:18 pm
starrlife says:

I love this post but I am shocked by the naivete of some of the bloggers out there! Call me jaded but when I first started blogging I had the fortune to experience this kind of thing first hand. A very popular blogger was discovered to be a fraud who was stalking all kinds of folks maliciously leading to a horrific bloody blog war.
There needs to be some personal accountability on both ends, the writing and the reading. Yes , the world is full of terrible injustice and behavior but I’ve noticed victimhood makes for drama that twitter and blogs love. Sensationalizing is just gossip under the auspices of spreading the word. Thanks for your points Maggie- well said as usual!

October 21st, 2009 at 4:07 am
Okay, Fine, Dammit » TSA took my baby, @mybottlesup, and the trigger happy Internet « Crouse Blog says:

[...] October 21, 2009 · Filed under Uncategorized Okay, Fine, Dammit » TSA took my baby, @mybottlesup, and the trigger happy Internet. [...]

October 21st, 2009 at 9:44 am
A Free Man says:

I don’t know how I feel about this. There is a lot of attention seeking that goes hand in hand with blogging. But as you point out, we don’t know what happened and probably never will. So, for me, I’ll go about my business and stay our of hers. And the TSA’s.

October 21st, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Misty says:

The issue of a time stamp may actually strengthen her case. To begin with, normally a believable stamp is a watermark which you can see the video through. This time stamp is a black box. Time could have been cut.
One her website, she says she made at least 2 phone calls. All she needs to prove a falsified video are the phone records. Since she is never shown on the phone, if she has proof of those calls, she has proof the video has been tampered with.
There are several minutes on the tape where Nic is blurred out and the security agent is standing in front of her son. A cut could have been made there as well since people would think all players are accounted for.

jj Reply:
November 3rd, 2009 at 2:42 am
I have personally been pushing for this to become a legal case, what she did was criminal, making false accusations and slander.

October 21st, 2009 at 7:15 pm
Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings says:

You’re right about the direction journalism is taking. It’s a little scary to think that anyone can just say: “Look what happened!” and no one stops to check the facts. The introduction of the Internet was considered by some to be the best thing that ever happened to journalism, but in reality it killed newspapers and it is killing our credibility. Newspapers are putting their news online for free, sinking their revenue flow. And journalists are throwing things online or on TV as fast as they can, just to be first. Hopefully someone in the business will wise up and reign it back in somehow.

October 22nd, 2009 at 5:06 am
Stacy says:

After viewing all 9 videos they posted, I sincerely doubt the TSA edited them. Anyone still spouting that is as delusional as Nic herself.

I fly about 100,000 miles a year. I deal with the TSA a lot. So I found the story to be of interest to me. I’ve been put in the “plastic box” before. I’ve been set aside for secondary screening because I had SSSS on my boarding pass (happens if you book a flight real close to the travel date). I know that you don’t flip out and start screaming and swearing at TSA agents when this happens. If you do, you get arrested.

I posted on her blog in the comments section that I was surprised if she was screaming and swearing that she wasn’t arrested. I was then called a “troll” and my comment was deleted (as I’m sure will happen here, seems you mommy bloggers ban together to disparage anyone pointing out the obvious to you). This to me mades me even more suspicious of the integrity of the story and the blogger. And then there were the TSA videos, and it was all over.

Now here you go with “we don’t know what happened between Nic and the TSA”. Um, yeah we do. Its on 9 videos. Get over it.

liv Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 am
Just because you were called a troll on another blog and deleted does not mean that this sort of thing would happen here. If you’ve waded through the comments, you’d see that many of them are squarely citing Nic as a liar, or more delicately, “story fabricator.” There is no need to malign any other mom who happens to blog nor is there reason to to write aggressively toward the author of this blog. If you were more discerning, you’d notice that this post was published BEFORE the TSA released additional video angles.

Since you seem to have very limited knowledge about Maggie, Dammit and her blog, I’ll clue you in: She is a compassionate advocate of abused woman, a journalist, a mother, wife and friend. This post was about not being so quick to judge and jump or disseminate information without thorough research. As someone who knows Nic, I’m sure she didn’t want to engage in the lynchmob mentality that is running rife through the blogosphere.

And, no, we don’t want to delete you, we want to educate you about the preponderance of our community: woman who write about their lives and issues truthfully and respectfully, with a hint of irreverence, and most likely, a bottle of wine nearby.

October 23rd, 2009 at 1:09 am
maggie, dammit says:

Stacey, if you yourself were a more discerning reader (like how I did that? Made a sweeping generalization about you without knowing the first thing about you, as you did several times about me?) you would have noticed the dozens of disparaging comments that appear above yours. I don’t delete comments. I’ve never had any reason to. Most people who visit this site are very respectful. Rational people disagree all the time without saying nananabooboo.

You would have also noticed the date on this post, which is nearly a week ago (and before the nine videos were released.) It would seem YOU are the one having a hard time “getting over it,” not me.

You raise some good points but it’s hard to hear them over your insults. I’ve been in that box with the SSSS code, too. And anyone who’s ever watched A&E’s Airline knows you don’t get drunk, and you don’t yell or act crazy. Flying 101. And yes, Nic’s behavior in the story’s aftermath has only hurt her credibility further.

My only point with this post was to urge people to be more careful, thoughtful, rational consumers of information. It was one of the first posts written about the whole thing, right at the height of extreme craziness on both sides.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I can’t write real good without mah mommyblogger tee, mah tinfoil hat, and further instructions from Oprah.

Thanks for stopping.

thordora Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:50 am
Hot damn woman, can we make out?

maggie, dammit Reply:
October 23rd, 2009 at 6:54 am
Hang on, lemme check what Oprah thinks.

October 23rd, 2009 at 5:49 am
Bejewell says:

And THAT, my friends, is how you deal with a troll.

October 23rd, 2009 at 6:14 am
harmzie says:

I like this post very much. It’s very thoughtful and summarized (what I see as) the issue(s) very well. Fool me once, internex, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me seven hundred and fifty times and I’ll take up a side and defend it to the death, spewing venom all the way down. Because to admit that I was fooled seven hundred and fifty times makes me look 748 X stupider than the second time I was fooled. But to spew venom makes me look *passionate* about *issues*.

Oops, digressed (that was NOT a rant). I am also thoroughly intrigued (if not entertained – yes, I may be a horrible human being, probably) by the fact that your commenters have proven your point on their own.

October 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 am
Postmarc says:

Dammit, you’re making my day. Who knew you would have a SSSS (Salient, Saucy, & Slightly Sarcastic) reply worthy of it’s own mini-post. I love it and want to see you in your tinfoil hat!

xoxo

October 23rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Postmarc says:

Dammit, you’re making my day. Who knew you would have an SSSS (Salient, Saucy, & Slightly Sarcastic) reply worthy of it’s own mini-post. I love it and want to see you in your tinfoil hat!

xoxo

October 23rd, 2009 at 10:39 am
Renee says:

I read this the other day and I agree. We all need to check our own emotional response to things. I have read tweets/blogs/etc that I just knew in my gut were false. I had no inclination to “alert” the world about the perpetration of a fraud, I simply let the chips fall and in most cases the truth became apparent.

Although I am not a journalist, I do my best to fact check, especially those things that seem the most outrageous. Perhaps more of us should do that- thanks for the reminder.

Great post as always.

October 23rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
Carrie says:

Thinking before speaking, now THERE”S a concept! I missed the whole debacle…and I’m kind of glad I did, balloon boy had me in knots (a feeling I DID NOT need that day).

But you’re right, it isn’t about her – it’s about “us.” Not that I’m even included in that, well – not really. But you never know who will read those words and lay weight to them. So I chose carefully and make damned sure that people know I’m kidding when and if I ever do.

But I know there are many who don’t and to be thrown together all in the same pot seems unfair. Sigh. So goes the life of the regular joe blogger.

October 24th, 2009 at 12:21 am
Braja says:

A wise man once said, “A sane man thinks three times before speaking.”

October 25th, 2009 at 8:23 am
LaskiGal says:

Twitter . . . Facebook . . . Blogs . . . MySpace . . . they all are cool (and totally uncool). But more importantly, they all make me yearn for the days we put pen to paper. Well, me . . . pencil to paper. I really liked my eraser.

October 26th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Kristine says:

Ahh, so happy to have stumbled upon this. I feel precisely the same way about this whole situation. The intensity of the hatred…just all so very disturbing. And like you said, so very revealing.

October 29th, 2009 at 7:57 pm
James says:

As so clearly stated in a Letter to the Editor in the Arizona Daily Star:

The dangerous need for noise
Re: the Oct. 28 editorial “Push the ‘mute’ button and see what happens.”
I applaud the Star for addressing noise pollution and our addiction to auditory stimulation. These problems are more dangerous than most people realize. They are dangerous to your ears, but also dangerous to your mind.
I’ve been appalled recently to see kids who appear to be 8 or 9 listening to iPods, a “bud” in both ears. What does it do to a developing mind to never have silence, to never take time to connect with one’s own thoughts?
I was a college professor for 28 years. Toward the end of my teaching career, I saw that most students were enveloped in a technological cocoon and accustomed to constant stimulation. I had students tell me that they “couldn’t handle” silence. On many ocassions, I saw students trying to read a textbook and listen to their iPods at the same time.
Robert Cocke
Retired, Oracle

Why don’t you “Push the Mute” button for a while.
Or as a Harry Carey once said “there is your version, there is their version, AND there is the Truth somewhere in between.

November 1st, 2009 at 8:19 pm
jj says:

She only hurt herself, her reputation is gone forever, including if her future employer does a search of her name. Painful if it’s a job she really wants, like with children. She will NEVER get a job working with children OR in a healthcare capacity, anything you must have licensing for. Whatever money she made offa this, she lost a hundredfold of in future earning income.

She has munchausen:
Münchausen syndrome is a term for psychiatric disorders known as Factitious disorders wherein those affected feign disease, illness, or psychological trauma in order to draw attention or sympathy to themselves.

November 3rd, 2009 at 2:26 am
jj says:

Also i’m confused as to why you feel people are overly vicious to her, lying like that is bad for everyone. She just brought down mommy bloggers to status of laughing stock for one, women in general for her stupidity in not even THINKING about cameras before lying, and than she didn’t apologize to anyone really. She’s a liar, why shouldn’t we hate liars, we’re not a kind world, we’re a world with people who will hook a bomb up to some poor soul, send them into a crowd, and detonate it. For instance, i’m not doing this to gross you out, but to make you think about what you DON’T have to think about. Did you know that bones become deadly shrapnel? Why would you know that? But security people do, and much more of this horror. So into this fray prances Nic, with her crazy attention needing mommy blogger ridiculousness, so TSA hatin’, as if they are the bad guys. Her husband must be furious at her, he’s basically TSA too, he knows this stuff goes on. I’m sure he lost some respect for his prancing wife, but, too late, they’ve got a kid.

November 3rd, 2009 at 2:38 am
maggie, dammit says:

OK, people. Time to move on.

November 3rd, 2009 at 8:22 am

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