The Invitation by Oriah
I want to fix everything. It’s so hard to let things be, to believe it’s enough, just being there, just listening, just clucking along and shaking my head and willing my eyes to shoot out kindness like pastel laser beams. So many of my friends suffer, both in blogland and in the un-linkable flesh. I click PayPal links and summon impromptu therapists and weep over desperate emails and swallow my fear for the camera, for the cause, and it still feels like so little, seems so inadequate, so trite.
My friend Marc sent me this poem, and it resonated so deeply I’ve read it a hundred times over. Marc felt bad that he hadn’t heard of it before now but I hadn’t either, so if he and I are the last two on earth then I’m fine with the company — but just in case we’re not, I’m offering it to you today. For all of us who think we’re not doing enough, sit a moment with me here. “Sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.”
Maybe it’s enough after all.
***
The Invitation
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”
It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
*
by Oriah from her book THE INVITATION (c) 1999. Published by HarperONE, San Francisco. All rights reserved. Presented with permission of the author. www.oriah.org
Jenny, Bloggess says:
I needed this today. This poem. These thoughts. I needed it after one of the biggest, most terrifying decisions I’ve ever had to make. This poem was a hug and a reminder that I’m doing the right thing.
Thank you.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:02 am
Ann's Rants says:
I went back to school to become a social worker for this very reason..I feel bearing witness, and companioning people through hard times is a gift. Its grace. Both in the giving and the receiving.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Mr Lady says:
I’ve never read that, either. It’s beautiful.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:12 am
Nicole says:
D*mn. Speechless.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:23 am
pgoodness says:
Wow. That’s fabulous. Thanks for sharing.
March 25th, 2009 at 10:27 am
Vicky says:
Achingly beautiful! Singing to me today. “I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back..”
I am living in an area battling a flood that could overtake our town, but its the busloads of strangers, standing in the mud and water fighting along side of us that are bringing these words to life for me!!
Thank you for sharing!
March 25th, 2009 at 10:34 am
Susan says:
That? Was much needed. Wow!
March 25th, 2009 at 10:45 am
diana says:
That is a really beautiful poem. I have been working through the “disapointing another to be true to one’s self” portion lately. The poem in it’s entirety reminds me of the kind of friend I would like to be.
March 25th, 2009 at 11:01 am
Mojo says:
Nope. You weren’t the last two on earth. I’ve never seen it either. Well obviously I have now, but not before you posted it.
I don’t know about alone with myself, but I’m perfectly content alone with Tonka. Trouble is I know I’m probably going to outlive him and that… I don’t like to think about.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Mrs. B. Roth says:
Very nice poem, definitely one to keep somewhere safe, where you will come across it randomly when you need it.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Neil says:
Wow, Maggie. That was wonderful.
March 25th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
sizzle says:
I’ve always loved that poem. Thanks for reminding me.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Frogdancer says:
And kids ask me why I insist we study poetry….
March 25th, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Lady Fi says:
That poem – so deep and meaningful.
March 25th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Jewels says:
Do you ever have a crappy blog post?! I mean, seriously!?! I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem. Even had it on my bedroom wall at one point. I think I shall post it on my page as well today. It’s so beautiful and it says it all….
March 25th, 2009 at 2:07 pm
Jewels says:
One more thing…wanted to share a quote that I have on my myspace page…
“I do not care what car you drive. Where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year’s cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list, B-list or never heard of you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary Mind……”
March 25th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
ramble says:
Those words basically encapsulate what I’m aiming for in life. Wow.
They also make up for every awful Emily Dickinson poem I ever had to read in school.
Thanks.
March 25th, 2009 at 3:43 pm
Fran says:
Shouting at the moon, “Yes!”
March 25th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Deidra says:
Wow! Talk about living an authentic life!
March 25th, 2009 at 6:19 pm
Simplicity says:
Words cannot describe how much this poem sunk into my soul. Beautiful! Thank you for sharing!
March 25th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Elizabeth says:
This poem is how I met my husband. I had been divorced and recently reentered the dating scene again. I was absolutely frustrated by the results of my initial online dating efforts that I almost canceled my subscription. But I thought, f*ck I’ll just post this poem and make it *clear* – without apologies – what kind of character I expect in a person. The moment I posted it, my man dropped me a note. he’d read it before and was impressed to see me use it as my profile. It started the dialogue and set the precedent.
We married three years later.
March 25th, 2009 at 7:53 pm
Lea says:
I’ve read that, many times before, but thank you for sharing it here… I’m feeling rather blue tonight and the words that stick with me this time that I read this are..
“I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.”
Reasonating with me at this very moment. Thank you.
Peace. Lea
March 25th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Kate says:
I’ve always loved this poem; cuts to the bone, doesn’t it? Glad you posted it for all to enjoy.
March 26th, 2009 at 7:18 am
Robin Einzig says:
Amazing. Wonderful. Powerful. Incredible.
Just what I needed today.
Thanks for posting this.
March 26th, 2009 at 9:37 am
brookem says:
this is one of my favorite poems ever.
March 26th, 2009 at 1:23 pm
Emma says:
Thank you… that is such a phenomenal poem. I do DV work for many of the sentiments that are expressed here. Thank you again.
March 26th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
cyndi says:
I have shared that poem with each new person I met and clicked” with, saying “this is who I aspire to be. what about you?” The words are really meaningful when you are really belly on the ground and back to the wall…
March 26th, 2009 at 6:33 pm
Renee aka Mekhismom says:
I love this and have never read it before today. I appreciate you sharing it with us.
March 26th, 2009 at 10:31 pm
vodkamom says:
That was amazing, and inspiring. thank you.
March 27th, 2009 at 4:18 am
Amysprite says:
That was so beautiful! I just sent it out to all my girlfriends…. well, almost all of them, I didn’t send it to you and Ann (Rants) because *obviously* you’ve already seen it.
Thanks for sharing such a lovely piece that truly reflects the intensity of joy, pain, fear, and love that real friendships go through.
March 27th, 2009 at 5:46 am
Musing says:
>>If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
My children are teaching me this lesson. They are so much better at being true to themselves than I am.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Melissa says:
I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.
Yes yes yes!
But what really hit me was this. I needed this one.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
Yes. I need to remember this when I make my big change soon.
xoxo Miss Maggie and thanks for posting this…
March 27th, 2009 at 2:12 pm
Missives From Suburbia says:
I’ve never seen this before, either, and I needed it today. Thank you.
March 27th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Piper of Blithe Revival says:
*sobs*
March 27th, 2009 at 6:45 pm
daysgoby says:
Beautiful. Just beautiful.
March 27th, 2009 at 9:50 pm
Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo says:
I love this.
I too had not seen it.
I am printing it for my girls to read.
Love you babe. You are a true angel.
March 28th, 2009 at 1:02 am
karey m. says:
jesus. to tell you i needed this? gross understatement.
but i’ll tell you anyway. i needed this.
thank you.
March 28th, 2009 at 2:45 am
Woman in a window says:
wow. There is so much in these seemingly simple lines. wow. I think this one is a keeper and a thinker, an evaluate your life one. Cool, Maggie. Thanks.
March 28th, 2009 at 3:31 am
thatgirlblogs says:
DEEPNESS. we blog for these reasons, on our good days…
March 29th, 2009 at 11:55 am
conversemomma says:
Oh Mags, this is it. I wish there were more bloggers, writers, women like you. I see how you love. I see it. I wonder if you know how much you do with these posts, with these words.
I want to know these things about people too. I meet random people at parties and I give up small talk to dig deep into their bones. It makes me an odd party guest. But, I think people want to spill their stories. They want to be heard.
I love that you are that soft landing for so many of us.
March 29th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
david mcmahon says:
Came here from Jen Harvey’s site. What a powerful way to share someone’s verse.
March 29th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
Oh my oh my. What a perfect thing. A priori. First things. Who have I turned out to be.
I love this.
April 2nd, 2009 at 7:03 am
qt says:
Love this~
April 5th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
Sugar Jones says:
I came across The Invitation several years ago. I remember being so touched by the words on the cover and then echoed between the covers through many stories of growth and discovery. I remember trying so hard to accept that invitation, but always being just a little too scared. I’ve kept that book with me all this time. I feel like it’s been my compass at times… balanced, in my life, by the Bible. Hard to explain. Or maybe I just did?
April 16th, 2009 at 8:30 am
perksofbeingme says:
I know I’m late in writing a comment, but sometimes things hit me so profoundly when I read them that I have no words. This was one of those things. I needed this then, and I need it now. Thank you.
April 19th, 2009 at 11:13 am
tammigirl says:
One of my all time favorites. I actually have two copies of this book. One for me and one to loan.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:02 am