Simplicity
Everyone thought they were gathered for a very different reason. I wasn’t there last night, but in my imagination the room was warm and pleasantly packed, the opened gifts sorted and stacked near the door. The balloons would have been gender neutral, even though we know she’s having a girl. On second thought, there probably weren’t any balloons at all.
I bet she was sitting in a rocker, deliberately gliding back and forth, her paper plate balanced on her unborn child, with only the hint of a secret on her face.
No one would have thought it odd when the man stood up, looked at the other man and said, “Dave, do you want to be married to Jenn?”
“Yes I do,” Dave would have answered, I’m certain, without hesitation. The guests might have tittered a bit, but I doubt they yet suspected.
“And, Jenn?” the man would have said. “Do you want to be married to Dave?”
“Yes, I do,” she would have replied deliberately, and at this point the guests probably stopped their collective chewing, alert now that maybe something was just a little bit off.
“Then, by the power vested in me by the State of Wisconsin,” the man continued, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
and the triumphant grin on my aunt’s face would have answered any remaining questions.
***
Babe, I have been to some extraordinarily lavish weddings in my day and I can tell you, while a fancy party is great fun (and I hope you still plan to throw one) there’s absolutely no correlation between pomp and marital bliss. I think what you did last night was straight-up kickass, and I know what the two of you have will go the distance. I’ve been feeling a bit cynical lately, and to me, this is a gift — almost as good as the one you gave me, sixteen years ago, when you introduced me to my own Dave. I love you and your (holy shit!) husband beyond reason. Congratulations.
And to properly mark the occasion, here’s a little something special from me to you, brought to you by the year 1992. I believe we’re at a wedding? You’re welcome.
bejewell says:
Classic. Congrats to the newlyweds!!
December 7th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Erika says:
That is so frickin’ awesome!!
December 7th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Maura says:
Man, that is great! I would love to be witness to something like that, and would love even more to be able to pull something like that off myself. Congrats to the happy couple!
.
December 7th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Xbox4NappyRash says:
That’s the way to do it.
December 7th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
amysprite says:
That is amazing! An ambush wedding that manages to be sly and romantic is a major feat! Thank God the days of shotgun weddings being declassé are completely over. Congrats to them!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Don Mills Diva says:
Wow. How cool would it be to surprise everyone like that?
Awesome.
December 7th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
catnip says:
I love it! Simple weddings are my favorite, but I’ve never heard of one quite like that.
December 7th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
Crystal D says:
That is so cool! What a really great way to surprise everyone and do it all your way.
Congrats to Jenn and Dave!!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Jennifer H says:
I love this story. Happy and simple. Best wishes!
December 7th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
patois says:
Beautifully told. What a fabulous wedding.
December 7th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Rhea says:
Congrats to your aunt! That’s awesome!!
And omg, he really does have a mullet in that photo. hehe
December 7th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Coast Rat says:
Pretty cool, Maggs! Pretty cool!
December 7th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Andrew says:
HA HA HAAAAAAA
LOL!!!!! !!!!!!!
HA!
HAAAA!!!
HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!
OOOOO MMMMMMM GGGGGG!!!
AHHHHHH HA HA HAAA
December 7th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
For Myself says:
It seems that individuality and boxless thinking are, perhaps, family traits of yours.
That and a tendency toward surprise endings.
And…oh yeah…winning smiles, too!
December 7th, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Alicia says:
First of all, that photo is AWE. SOME.
Second of all, yeah. That is how I want to do it. No big dress, no drama, no months of calling caterers and bakeries and whatnot. Just “You wanna? K, me too. Cool.” And it’s done. And then we have a party with our friends
)
December 7th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Elisa says:
wow! what a lovely, lovely idea. so fun! small weddings are the best.
December 7th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
vodkamom says:
Pass the champagne!!!
December 7th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Aunt Jenn says:
The look of dawning understanding on everyone’s face was pretty fantastic.
We had everyone’s attention, but they thought we were doing some sort of silly toast.
Dave had his newly purchased ring in the pocket of his jeans.
I wore a second-hand maternity dress and red tights. Did I mention that I’m nearly 9 months pregnant?
We picked names out of a vase to be our witnesses, it was the only game at the “baby shower”, and your right Maggie, there were no balloons.
I’m too happy and exhausted to care about that awful picture… it only makes me feel better about the way I look right now (which is big-as-a-house and still better than I looked then).
Much love and thanks to everyone for the well wishes.
December 7th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
maggie, dammit says:
There is NOTHING awful about that picture!
We are H-A-W-T.
Dammit.
December 7th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
A Free Man says:
OK, that is very cool! Dr. O’C and I are not married largely because we don’t like a lot of fuss and don’t see the point in spending a lot of money. But the longer we’re together, the stupider it seems not to be married. Going to pass this her way to see what she thinks about this as a compromise.
December 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
flutter says:
oh I love this! even with the mullet, which clearly means I have been stricken blind ;p
December 7th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
derfina says:
Sounds like a little balm for your soul, Maggie. Best wishes to the happy couple.
December 7th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
QT says:
This is so great ~ I love the sneakiness! Congrats to the newlyweds!
December 7th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
muskrat says:
That’s awesome! I’m a big fan of the subtle marriage (we eloped).
Now, don’t go and tell them how “hard” it’s going to be like you did your blog readers the other day. Dammit.
December 7th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
father muskrat says:
Poop, I commented under the wrong blog URL. Maybe you can fix it for me.
December 7th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Emily R says:
now, that is my kind of wedding.
December 7th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
Pamela says:
that is the best thing I’ve heard all day.
December 7th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
stefanie says:
Simple and direct and so sneaky. Pure genius!
December 7th, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Sue says:
I heard that they had to have a sneak wedding to keep the paparazzi off their tail!
Congrats Jenn & Dave!!
Andrews post put me on the floor – even though the photo is obviously a-dor-able.
Sue
December 7th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Lea says:
I am SO sad I didn’t go! I’m crying right now, jeez-louise.
December 7th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
BOSSY says:
Such an outrageous photo, Bossy is speechless.
December 7th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
Carrie says:
That is a wonderful, wonderful story.
December 7th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Heather says:
This really is one of the sweetest wedding stories that I have heard.
December 7th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Cousin Leslie says:
outfreakingstanding.
December 7th, 2008 at 11:35 pm
Pare says:
OMG BEST WEDDING EVER and also why the hell didn’t *I* think of that? Think of the money, insanity, and STRESS I would have saved myself already!
P.S. Dave is my most favorite-est person in the entire world. I mean, he was before this picture anyway? but my god that mullet is HISTORICAL. And no, I did not mistype that. EPIC.
December 8th, 2008 at 4:47 am
Maggie says:
a) that wedding story is the most awesome I’ve ever heard!
b) aren’t you cute in the 90′s?
December 8th, 2008 at 4:54 am
Miss Britt says:
That is awesome!
December 8th, 2008 at 7:52 am
kd@abitsquirrelly says:
How fantastic! Congratulations!!
December 8th, 2008 at 8:18 am
krista says:
although my love interest and i don’t ever plan on getting married, i think this is how i would want to do it if we ever changed our minds.
and, oh, god bless the early nineties.
you think our kids will start wearing the early 90′s fashions because it will be retro?
i swear, if my daughter starts sporting a huge perm, long acrylic nails and shoulder pads…i’ll cry. and possibly high-five her.
December 8th, 2008 at 8:50 am
nutmeg says:
Oh the bow tie! You were so freaking cool! Did you have leg warmers on over your stockings too?
December 8th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Natalie says:
Oh how wonderful! Congratulations to your aunt and uncle!
And yeah, what Nutmeg said. hehe.
December 8th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Aunt Becky says:
Fabulous Food for the “baby shower” – $100 (maybe more..it sure was fancy and oh so yummy!)
Liquid Courage for Dave: $200
All around feeling of love and amazement: priceless.
Aunt Jenn forgot to add the part about her oh so lucky and extremely cool sister (yes that would be me) whose name was on one of the pieces of paper drawn to be a witness. I think I cried more than anyone. But who would expect anything else from sappy ole me….It was amazing.
December 8th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Deborah at Coco Bonbons says:
Awesome!!!! (That applies to the marriage and the pic from the 90′s!)
December 8th, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Dad says:
Maggie,
Did someone get married?
Love Dad
December 8th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Missives From Suburbia says:
Awww… congratulations to them!
You were just as cute in the early-90′s as you are now. How are you holding up so well? You must share all your secrets with me. Should I have married a guy with a mullet?
December 8th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Petra says:
That is so incredibly cool and original! I love it!
December 8th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Alison Veres says:
File under:
Happy, Family, Gratitude, Love.
I think that pretty much sums it up.
I like your family.
December 8th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Zoeyjane says:
That. Is. Awesome. I want to copy that wedding.
December 9th, 2008 at 1:37 am
Jim says:
That’s fantastic! Congrats!
December 9th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Cat says:
Wow, now that’s my kind of wedding! Congrats to the happy couple!
December 9th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
LiteralDan says:
No muss, no fuss weddings are the best kind there are, no matter what all those fuss lovers say. Double congratulations are due to Jenn and Dave!
And as for the picture, all I can say is thank you to the ’90s for providing as many laughs as the ’70s, for many, many years to come.
December 10th, 2008 at 2:21 am
Tricia says:
Straight up, kick ass is the perfect description, you’re right.
December 10th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Alison Veres says:
Hey Maggie —
I think you better write to your dad.
December 10th, 2008 at 11:01 am
blissfully caffeinated says:
Did I comment on this already? I can’t remember. If so, please forgive the duplication.
That is such a great story! Love it!
December 10th, 2008 at 2:15 pm
LaskiGal says:
That is one hot mullet. Can I say that?
A wedding is one thing . . .
But a marriage . . . that is something totally different.
December 10th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Jimh. says:
Hey, didn’t we all have mullets in ’92? It was a good year!
Cool, simple and sweet.
December 11th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Haley-O says:
Wow! That’s amazing… Love the picture! Congrats to the newlyweds!
December 11th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Prefers Her Fantasy Life says:
Low tech–I love it!! And you look like you are about 16 in that photo.
December 12th, 2008 at 8:58 am
maggie, dammit says:
That’s because I am. Actually, I’m probably 17 here.
(true story.)
December 12th, 2008 at 9:01 am
arizaphale says:
Ha ha! We did this too! Had a house warming and called people out for the ‘warming’ in the garden then I came out in fancy frock and we did the deed right there on the steps by the pool! Definitely the way to go. And if A Free Man and Dr O’C get any ideas I won’t tell a SOUL!
LOVE that picture of you guys from 1992.
December 15th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Crazybananas » Blog Archive » I’m Out says:
[...] Read this, then watch the video below. If I ever get married again (I mean, renew vows, not get married to [...]
December 19th, 2008 at 8:11 am
KCDAVED says:
MORE PICS from Nine Deuce please!
December 21st, 2008 at 11:09 pm