Domestic Violence blog update; final contenders announced – please vote!
I appreciate your patience on this. There is a lot going on behind the scenes and I really want to get this right, so it’s a pretty big process. In the naming alone, there were nearly 300 choices you all offered up. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you care about this project. It gives me hope.
Thanks to all of those suggestions, thoughts, and emails, I’ve been able to really clarify what it is I’m trying to do with this new blog. I think the most important thing is I’m not trying to be everything to all people; this is not a one-stop resource. There are other sites already doing a far better job at that, and they should be. I am not a therapist. I am not a licensed expert. I do not have the professional resources nor wherewithal to help victims who really need it. Instead, I need to focus on my unique skill. What can I do that maybe other more professional sites can’t?
I can be a mouthpiece. I can speak for men and women who can’t speak for themselves. I can provide a space for victims to tell their stories. I can empower survivors simply by allowing them a voice, and by showing them they are not alone. Most of all, I can show the rest of you. I don’t want to preach to the choir. I want to drive it home to everybody else, all of you who think you are untouched by this sort of violence. I want to show you how prevalent domestic violence is, how pervasive. I want to show you that this is as much “our” problem as “theirs,” and I’ll do that by keeping it at the front of your mind. I really believe that if we keep talking about it, it will lose some of its power. I really believe that.
The magazine editor of my domestic violence article took a look at your submissions and she said, “Remember, you’re a writer, a storyteller first. You’re not a nonprofit advocate. Use your strength in feeling other people’s pain. It’s what got you here in the first place.”
So that’s what I’m going to do. That’s what the new blog will be about.
I now know a few things the title cannot be. First of all, as clever (and flattering) as it is, I can’t use the word ‘dammit.’ I have already run into too many issues with a curse word, however mild, in my personal blog URL. I don’t want any strikes against this one right off the bat, so dammit is out. (Dammit.)
It can’t be gender or sexual-orientation specific. Nothing about women. I won’t exclude men who hit men, women who hit women, or women who hit men.
Speaking of hitting, it can’t be about physical violence. Emotional violence is equally — if not more — common and devastating.
It can’t be sad. It can’t be about crying, or victims. These people are survivors. They are brave. They are warriors without ever having asked to play that role.
It can’t be about secrets, or silence. The whole point of this is to scream it from the rooftops. The point is… it’s about active voices – mine, theirs, yours.
Here are the options we like best. The subtitle of the blog will include the words ‘domestic violence’ for clarification, so you don’t have to worry about that.
Without further ado:
Speaking a Way Out submitted by Teri at The World as I See It
Hear Our Voices**** submitted by Five Husbands (CaryRN suggested the same thing not long after – if this one wins, she gets cookies.)
No More Silence**** submitted by Annie Anderson
Reclaiming Voices, Reclaiming Lives**** submitted by Erika at Be Gay About It
Shared Not Scared submitted by Jeff Cutler
Purple Voices**** submitted by me, inspired by Jodifur. Purple is the ribbon color for domestic violence awareness. If you like it, Jodifur gets the necklace.
Violence Un-silenced submitted by Double Agent Girl
**** Note, the ones I’ve starred have some Google problems. They aren’t necessarily “taken” already, but quite a few entries come up. It’s something important to consider.
So please vote! With your help, one of the seven people above will receive this necklace, donated by my friend Elizabeth. Elizabeth has been incredibly helpful since the beginning of this venture (she even organized your submissions in a spreadsheet!) and she has offered up this necklace, which she helped design for a fundraiser at her spa last year. It says ‘Peace’ on one side, and on the other (facing a person’s chest) it says ‘at home.’ It is strung on deep purple suede, and valued at $84. It’s pretty awesome.
Happy voting! And thank you again, all of you. This is a good thing you’re doing.
Lainie Petersen says:
I like “Speaking a Way Out”.
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:31 am
Oh2122 says:
They’re all good, but I second “Speaking a Way Out.”
It is a nice turn of phrase, and the pause to think about what it means may encourage people to click over.
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
Kay says:
My vote goes to No More Silence
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:35 am
Marinka says:
I like Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 am
deb on the rocks says:
Speaking a Way Out resonates the most for me.
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:44 am
Insta-Mom says:
I’m going to go with Speaking a Way Out.
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am
sizzle says:
Speaking a Way Out
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:46 am
CaryRN says:
In light of the disclaimer, I will say Shared, Not Scared….although I really like Purple Voices best!
November 2nd, 2008 at 8:48 am
stacy di says:
I like Speaking a Way Out…but it was VERY tough to decide between that and Purple Voices….well, and all of them.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:10 am
Rhea says:
Speaking a Way Out has a really nice feel to it. They’re all great though. But that one’s my fav.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:11 am
Bennie says:
Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am
Auds says:
Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:23 am
ballerina toes says:
Speaking a Way Out seems to fit.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:30 am
magpie says:
Violence Unsilenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:31 am
Alison Veres says:
I like ‘Shared, Not Scared’ — I’m a sucker for rhyme. I also like ‘VoicesOverViolence’ — dammit! Not on the list!
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:33 am
pgoodness says:
Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:36 am
Christina says:
Speaking a Way Out
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:44 am
Black Hockey Jesus says:
Speaking A Way Out
Language languages a way through which we find ourselves out, lit, in light.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
Xbox4NappyRash says:
I’m surprised at the votes so far, I thought “Shared Not Scared” was excellent.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:47 am
jodifur says:
I’m voting for purple voices, obviously. I really love the necklace. Will there be a way to buy one? Possibly with a donation to a DV charity.
November 2nd, 2008 at 10:03 am
JES says:
My vote: “Shared, Not Scared”
November 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
sam {temptingmama} says:
Violence Unsilenced is my vote!
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:01 am
patois says:
No More Silence.
Purple Voices.
Can you give them each a half-vote ’cause I can’t choose.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:05 am
Jen says:
I’m coming out of lurking to vote on this one …
I like Speaking a Way Out … oh, and the quote from Black Hockey Jesus!
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:05 am
blissfully caffeinated says:
My fave is “Speaking a Way Out,” with “Violence Un-Silenced” my second pick.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:08 am
qt says:
I like Violence Un-silenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:12 am
Pare says:
Violence Un-silenced. It’s memorable.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:16 am
Mojo says:
I like them all, but the point here is not “what I like” but “what’s going to attract readers”. So I based my choices on the question: “If I ran across all of these in a list of random links, which would be the ones that made me perk up and wonder what they were about?” I considered it from a couple of angles. If these names turned up in a search for “domestic violence” I might be inclined to turn them over — or I might not, depending on what specific information I was looking for at the time.
If I’d searched on something other than domestic violence, I might get curious about these anyway and click through even though that’s not what I was looking for. And that was what sealed it for “Purple Voices” and “Shared not Scared”.
Still hardly scientific, but it seemed like the soundest method. And this is too important not to be sound about it.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 am
SAM says:
Violence Unsilenced or No More Silence. Great thing you are doing, dammit Maggie. J’adore. xo
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:18 am
ShyTrbleMaker says:
I’m still not sure dang it! I like Speaking the way out AND Violence Unsilenced. BUT while I think Violence Unsilenced is very true it speaks to the very thing you’re trying to get away from so: How about this:
Speaking The Way Out (Domestic Violence Unsilenced)
It works for me!
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:22 am
Meg says:
Violence unsilenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:46 am
Kim says:
Shared Not Scared. I think it’s perfect.
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:55 am
Renée aka Mekhismom says:
I like Hear Our Voices.
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm
PsychMamma says:
Violence Un-silenced is great
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Pamela says:
Speaking the Way Out.
I like ShyTrbleMaker’s idea of using (Domestic Violence Unsilenced) after the title. It’s an awesomely descriptive and specific tagline.
Super cool necklace, by the way.
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:31 pm
CharmingBitch says:
I vote for Jodi – And totally commend you for making this effort. I only recently found your blog but in my short time here I have come to the following conclusion: You rock. Dammit!
November 2nd, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Christy says:
I like ‘Violence Un-silenced’. I think that says it all, really.
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:02 pm
O'Neal says:
Violence Un-silenced sounds great! It’s catchy and is literally the true purpose as the title!
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Sherendipity says:
I vote for Violence Un-Silenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:20 pm
schmutzie says:
I like “Violence Unsilenced”.
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:23 pm
vodkamom says:
I adore the Shared not Scared one. absolutely adore it.
November 2nd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Megan says:
“Speaking a Way Out”
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
mamatulip says:
Shared Not Scared.
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Missives From Suburbia says:
Violence Un-Silenced. I love the alliteration, and it’s short and to the point.
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Ms. Changes Pants While Driving says:
i like shared not scared.
for all of your efforts and passion and strength you’ve shown and that you’ll need for this, i offer hugs and a cup of tea. i’d offer a foot rub, but i have a thing against feet.
this is a tough subject to write about, and you have a very big heart.
don’t forget about yourself. thank you for doing this.
November 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Dave says:
Shared not scared
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Karen Sugarpants says:
I love “Violence Un-silenced.”
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:45 pm
Fran says:
Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Tricia says:
Shared not scared
November 2nd, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Rachie says:
I really like Speaking a Way Out. Very original.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
viv says:
I vote for Hear Our Voices.
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Jennifer says:
I like “Speaking a way Out”
November 2nd, 2008 at 5:52 pm
pinkharleygirl says:
Violence Un-silenced! It ROCKS!!
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Jim says:
Speaking a Way Out by Teri sounds positive and seems to mesh with your idea for the site.
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
muskrat says:
speaking a way out
November 2nd, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Kim says:
Totally Violence Unsilenced
November 2nd, 2008 at 7:35 pm
Sarah says:
Speaking A Way Out
November 2nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm
chanda says:
My vote is for Violenced Un-Silenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Heather says:
Speaking a Way Out
If you were cornered by life you might search for “a way out.”
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Mommy Cracked says:
I like Violence Unsilenced.
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:15 pm
A Free Man says:
I like violence un-silenced but not really the hyphen. Is “unsilenced” not OK?
November 2nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
laskigal says:
Speaking a way out . . . fits. Perfectly.
November 2nd, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Rachael says:
I really like Violence Unsilenced. It seems memorable to me.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:24 am
arizaphale says:
Violence Unsilenced for me too. It has a ring to it.
Been away for a bit Maggie, must go and catch up with all this new venture now……
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 am
sarah says:
I like “Speaking a Way Out”.
November 3rd, 2008 at 5:45 am
Elizabeth says:
My Vote is: Purple Voices.
If anyone wants to purchase their own necklace, feel free to get in touch with me at aetheriaspa(at)yahoo(dot)com. (Please put Maggie’s DV blog in the subject line).
~Elizabeth
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:37 am
KayO says:
I like Purple Voices.
November 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Rachel says:
I like “Shared Not Scared.”
“Violence Unsilenced” is nice too, but I don’t know if it would attract the victims of emotional abuse…
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:12 am
Jo says:
I like them all, but I think Violence Unsilenced is catchy and to the point. I can see it being shouted out at someone! I think I agree about the hyphen.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:32 am
Toasty says:
My vote is for Violence Unsilenced.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:51 am
Trenches of Mommyhood says:
I like “Shared, Not Scared”
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Betsey Booms says:
I love “violence unsilenced”
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:29 pm
wrh says:
I vote for Speaking a Way Out. I like that it’s “active.” Does that make sense.
Anyway. That’s an article I’d read.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Carolyn Online says:
I like Speaking a Way Out. It sounds hopeful.
November 3rd, 2008 at 1:59 pm
Alexandra says:
I like Violence Un-silenced!!
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
jill says:
speaking a way out gets my vote!
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Keri says:
I love Violence Un-silenced. It has a wonderful strength to it and is very pleasing to the ear and eye, as well.
November 3rd, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Nicole says:
Violence Unsilenced is my pick.
Get the “VU.”
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Nutmeg says:
Ohhhh, tough call! These are all brilliant, but my vote goes to Speaking a Way Out.
November 3rd, 2008 at 8:14 pm
nonlineargirl says:
I like Sharing Voices… best, but of the ones without google issues, I like Speaking a Way Out.
November 3rd, 2008 at 9:29 pm
Lea says:
Violence Unsilenced – it has a nice roll-off-the-tongue-ness to it.
November 3rd, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Zak says:
Speaking A Way Out is pretty rad, but they are all great names for a great cause.
Come by and leave a comment for me…every comment counts as $5 for pancreatic cancer research!
Hugs…Z
November 4th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
SugarJones says:
Violence Un-Silenced
Yup, that’s my vote… glad to see it came from Double Agent Girl.
November 4th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
Kristen says:
I agree with
Speaking The Way Out (Domestic Violence Unsilenced)
November 5th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Nora Bee says:
Purple Voices.
November 5th, 2008 at 10:27 pm
MichelleK says:
Violence Un-silenced
November 6th, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Okay, Fine, Dammit » Violence Unsilenced says:
[...] new blog will be called “Violence Unsilenced” — thanks to all who voted, and congratulations to Double Agent Girl! Sam at Temptation Designs, the wonder-designer [...]
November 9th, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Debbie says:
Speaking A Way Out gets mine. I agree with the “action” tone of this. Gives hope and hits the point of what you’re doing.
We all love you Maggie!!
November 16th, 2008 at 6:56 am
BiblioMom says:
Thanks for the comment on my post. Stories like that of Alisha are so common and tragic. As someone who lived through domestic violence I know the toll that it takes. Thank you for finding your voice on this topic!
Now let me add you to my Google reader. I love when I find fellow Wisconsin bloggers!
November 18th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Christine says:
What about simply “Peace”, like the necklace reads?
May 12th, 2009 at 12:46 pm