Please help
I’ve talked a lot lately about finding my voice, about owning my passion. I’ve decided I’m done dancing a happy skippy yay-me jig about it — I’m ready for the next step. It’s not enough to find your voice. You have to use it.
When I posted about domestic violence a few weeks ago, the response really impacted me. Many of you commented. Several of you crafted spin-off posts of your own, others of you wrote emails of confession. And then I moved on, right?
My domestic violence article hit newsstands on Friday. That means this conversation will be alive for one month, and then it will be over — right?
I’ve decided no, on both counts. I’ve decided the number one reason this abuse is still so prevalent is because we aren’t talking about it enough. I’ve decided I’m going to talk about it until I’m out of breath, write about it until my fingers fall off. I don’t know if it will make a difference, and I know I don’t exactly have loads of free time, but I know if I stay silent then I become everything I’ve railed against and that’s just unacceptable to me.
I’m starting a second blog, this one devoted entirely to domestic violence. I will tell victim stories, provide a forum that assists victims in telling their own, and collect news. I am still figuring it all out but before I can, I need a name.
Choosing a name is not a simple task. It needs to be short. Informative. All-encompassing. Unique. Google-able. Gender-neutral. It can’t be something that’s been done before. It can’t be something trademarked. It can’t be something so creative no one remembers what we’re talking about. It can’t be something so bland no one notices.
I’ve been brainstorming all morning and I am no further than when I started. Will you help?
Of course, I’m making this a contest. The winner gets cookies. I will bake them myself. Ask my husband, this is a VERY big deal. I don’t bake. Which means I might ask you to provide recipes along with your name suggestions. Just kidding?
So please. No inner editors, just throw your ideas out here. Pass this on to your friends, Twitter about this, ask your non-blogging friends, ask your grandmas. Everybody likes cookies, right?
One in four women will be abused in her lifetime. If you think that has nothing to do with you, imagine if the doctor told you one in four of your cells were cancerous. We are all in this thing together. Help me use my voice to spread theirs.
*****THIS JUST IN! My friend Elizabeth has offered the winner a “peace begins at home” necklace (she describes it in the comments below) valued at $84 dollars! This is decidedly better than poorly made cookies. THANK YOU, ELIZABETH!*****
Wendy says:
“Domestic Violence Speaks” maybe? Simple and to the point, but maybe not creative enough. I googled it, and didn’t come up with the exact wording on the first page. Of course, I didn’t check all 867,000 results. lol. You could even have a section where former abusers (or even current?!) talk about why they did it and how they got help.
Wendy´s last blog post..Mommy Angst
October 26th, 2008 at 8:10 am
Kelly says:
How about something simple, with a bit of rhyming flourish in it, like ‘Writing To Fight Domestic Violence,’ perhaps?
Kelly´s last blog post..
October 26th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Five Husbands says:
Wonderful idea Maggie – my suggestion for a name is Hear Our Voices
Five Husbands´s last blog post..I’m the one you want*
October 26th, 2008 at 8:13 am
Jim says:
I think that “Crying Voices” is a good title.
Jim´s last blog post..Are Our Kids Set Up TO FAIL? Parts I and II
October 26th, 2008 at 8:22 am
CaryRN says:
Awesome idea on the blog. As a nurse, I have seen my share of victims of domestic violence. I can brainstorm ideas; not sure any of mine are stellar but maybe they will get someone else’s juices flowing?
More Than This
Enough
Standing Up
Hear Our Voices
That’s what pops into my head. Like I said, I know they aren’t great but maybe it will spark someone else.
Cary
CaryRN´s last blog post..Chuckie is a Bitch and Other Stories
October 26th, 2008 at 8:24 am
Dani Stone says:
My submission: STAND UP!
I submit because I think it’s awesome what you’re doing and well frankly, I’m a competitor and I like cookies so there you go.
Dani Stone´s last blog post..danimichelle: @MaggieDammit My submission: Stand Up!
October 26th, 2008 at 8:28 am
patois says:
The First Step
Breaking Free
Break the Cycle
I don’t know how Google-able these are, but I think they indicate what you are trying to do: get victims to get out. Or One in Four, which is a hell of a big number.
Maggie, I can’t tell you how inspiring you are to be taking this on.
patois´s last blog post..Sunday Scribblings: I’m Crazy About Myself
October 26th, 2008 at 8:31 am
Kari D. says:
How about 1 In 4? Probably not too google-able. I’m so great at these things, but it’s what came to mind after reading your post. I think it is a noble and wonderful effort i the fight against DV. I applaud your efforts and encourage you to keep using that amazing voice of yours for good. You rock!
Kari D.´s last blog post..Anti-Miscegenation, Marriage, and Proposition 8
October 26th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Elizabeth says:
Maggie,
You ABSOLUTELY rock. I’ve been loitering hoping you’d post that article since you talked about it a week or two ago. Anything I can do to help?
The problem with DV is that if you mention DV in the title, no one will read it. It’s still that dirty little secret no one wants to acknowledge. Perhaps it’s best to spin it more positively…
As a fundraiser at the spa last year, I teamed up with a local jewelry maker to create a necklace to raise money for the cause. It simply said “Peace” on one side, and on the other (facing a person’s chest) it said “at home”. Of course, the necklace was a deep purple suede.
I’ll continue brainstorming today, but maybe “Peace begins at home” could be a title?
I love what you’re doing, woman. Let me know how/if I can help you with this.
~Elizabeth
October 26th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Elizabeth says:
PS. In addition to your cookies, I’ll arrange for the winner to get a “peace” necklace from me! (an $84 value).
~Elizabeth
October 26th, 2008 at 8:46 am
maggie, dammit says:
I thought of “one in four no more” but there seems to be another site called “one in four” and they used to be called “no more” — and they focus on sexual assault.
October 26th, 2008 at 8:46 am
krista says:
outside the silence
from under the fog
yours, mine, ours
daybreak
breaking the surface
at first glance
(mis)perception
man, i’m going to be thinking about this all day
krista´s last blog post..from such great heights
October 26th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Dad says:
Some sort of take off of ” if these walls could talk”
Love , Dad
October 26th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Hammy says:
Hmm…how about:
Someone to Listen
(because folks in abusive situations usually don’t make moves until they believe and talk and reach, and how many times has someone said “If only someone would listen. If only I had someone to talk to. I’m alone in this.)
And along the lines of the 25%:
You, You, You, Me
(like a terrible cosmic game of duck, duck, goose; someone I know, someone I don’t know, someone I can reach, and me)
Hammy´s last blog post..To sleep, perchance to dream
October 26th, 2008 at 8:56 am
Wendy says:
A spin-off of Elizabeth’s comment- Not a Dirty Little Secret. It shouldn’t be a secret!
Wendy´s last blog post..Mommy Angst
October 26th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Wendy says:
OR! No More Secrets/No More Hiding?
Wendy´s last blog post..Mommy Angst
October 26th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Nicole says:
Wow — How often do you get to see a cause being born? BRAVO, Maggie!
That said, here’s a few thoughts:
Abused No More
Not In My House
GONE — Get Out Now Empowerment project
Nicole´s last blog post..Voter Anxiety
October 26th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Wendy says:
OR! No More Secrets/No More Hiding?
October 26th, 2008 at 9:03 am
Annie Anderson says:
Maggie-
Great idea! It’s definitely something that impacts more people than most realize.
Just throwing these off the top of my head but, how about -
1. impACTION
2. Stomp Out Domestic Violence
3. Stomp it Out
4. Break the Silence
5. Action Speaks
6. Action Speaks Louder
7. Louder Than Words
8. End it Together
9. One is Too Many
10. Zero Out Domestic Violence
11. Haven of Help
12. No More Silence
I’ll be back if I think of any others.
~ Annie
Annie Anderson´s last blog post..We all need mentors
October 26th, 2008 at 9:06 am
CaryRN says:
Thought of another based on what someone else said:
Into the Sun
Hope it helps.
Cary
CaryRN´s last blog post..Chuckie is a Bitch and Other Stories
October 26th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Paula says:
Silent Bruises Speak.
Or some such variation?
Silent Bruises No More.
October 26th, 2008 at 9:10 am
derfina says:
How about “Voices Carry”
derfina´s last blog post..Bits and pieces
October 26th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Jo says:
I”m always so bad at this, I’ll have to come back. I will mail you a lovely cookie recipe if you need it?
Jo´s last blog post..time to cry
October 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
noble pig says:
That’s great Maggie, you will help lots. Your passion will come through.
noble pig´s last blog post..Kitty Litter Cake
October 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Colleen says:
This is why you are awesome.
I was thinking “Violence on the Homefront”.
Colleen´s last blog post..My New Design
October 26th, 2008 at 9:35 am
CaryRN says:
Hands off
A New Day
Strength In Numbers
Strong Women Tell or Talk or Share
Sorry to post again, but my wheels won’t stop turning!
CaryRN´s last blog post..Chuckie is a Bitch and Other Stories
October 26th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Jo says:
No Secret Shame
- domestic violence action and support
your sub heading would get the google hits in.
Jo´s last blog post..time to cry
October 26th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Paula says:
No More Shame.
Fighting Back.
Words Are Stronger.
No More, Dammit. (small shout out!)
October 26th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Erika says:
We should talk about some kind of collaboration. (Sorry I didn’t respond to your email about this earlier this week. I’m still feeling my way around the new experience I told you about, grappling with where my voice as a counselor fits, ethically speaking.)
I like something along the lines of Elizabeth’s suggestion, ‘Peace Begins at Home’, because it doesn’t invoke violence or aggression. Adding something ‘active’ to it might be good, since survivors act against abuse (rather than abuse just magically going away).
Some other ideas (phrases and words):
Reclaiming Voices, Reclaiming Lives
Strength in Numbers
Never Our Fault
light, freedom, empowered, survivors, morning, new, stop, violence, redefining love, renewal, rebirth, life, liberation, alive to tell
Also, it’s important (as you know) to encompass all abuses of power and control, not just physical, but economic, verbal, emotional, etc..And gender-neutrality, and hetero/same-sex neutrality, are also important.
Good luck!
October 26th, 2008 at 9:56 am
Jeff says:
Good thoughts and a nice cause.
The requirements are pretty stringent and the existing names make it even tougher. But I’ll give you a few. Let me know if any strike a chord.
Thanks.
strongvoices
opendoors
sharednotscared
friendlyvoices
brighterdays
confider
caringchat
friendlyfaces
supportrock
yourrock
pinkhealers
bluesoothers
holdinghands
October 26th, 2008 at 10:05 am
miko564 says:
I was going to say “Safe at Home” but Googled it, and it turns out Joe Torre (fmr manager of the Yankees) as an org named this, about Domestic Violence. Cool.
Damn Joe Torre took my monthly good idea…
miko564´s last blog post..Monkey Dreams and Daddy
October 26th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Mrs Parks says:
When Love Hurts.
Oh Maggie, Maggie, Maggie could I tell you stories.
My mind and my heart just froze when I read this, I think I must have been asleep after surgery when you posted the first time.
Just read it.
This topic touches me deeply.
Mrs Parks´s last blog post..Mo’ Money
October 26th, 2008 at 10:16 am
vodkamom says:
Let’s see…
I Don’t Want to be a Statistic
Heal the Broken and Battered
I want to live
Hurting at Home
A lifeline…
Giving you the Courage to Save Yourself
I’m going to think harder about this. I applaud you, and salute you.
vodkamom´s last blog post..Fly my darling, fly…
October 26th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Amy says:
Maggie. You are again an inspiration. With actress Jennifer Hudson’d mother and brother being shot to death and her nephew missing as an act of domestic violence (as determined by the police and the FBI) it makes me a little sad to think that if they did not have the famous relative would this just be another murder kidnapping in the news.
I suggest the title Finding My Voice because people like you helped me find my voice, and when I was able to find it, I was able to stand up and scream from the rooftops that “I do NOT deserve to be treated like this.”
Amy´s last blog post..Eight More Posts…
October 26th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Amy says:
Beaten but not Broken also comes to mind.
Amy´s last blog post..Eight More Posts…
October 26th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Xbox4NappyRash says:
Take the 1 in 4 angle, using help from the other 3 in 4…
ThreeToOne(InFour)
Xbox4NappyRash´s last blog post..On, off, on again
October 26th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Tricia says:
I’m terrible at naming anything, but I’m so, so happy you’re doing this and if there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.
My husband and I recently co-wrote a couple of articles related to men’s violence against women, (http://www.shoutdaily.com/bare-naked/) and I’ve been trying to link up blogger’s stories as I find them. Seriously, this is an issue close to our hearts and I believe the more people who speak out, who are brave enough to share, the stronger and safer we’ll become.
Tricia´s last blog post..Remembering to Breath
October 26th, 2008 at 11:14 am
jodifur says:
I work in family violence and am so glad you are doing this!
Silence is not the answer.
Children learn what they live
Purple Hearts (purple is the DV color but may be a little esoteric.)
We will not be silent
jodifur´s last blog post..Shoe Friday
October 26th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Alison says:
Just a thought. Don’t some abuse hotlines NOT show up on your phone bill to protect the people who call them? Maybe the website name shouldn’t include keywords like “violence” or “abuse” in case a woman in an abusive relationship uses the home computer and forgets to clear the history.
A few ideas:
Peace Out [Peace-Out is a conscientious objector website, so it's probably too close]
Dawn Here [could be just a woman's blog, if someone saw the url]
Oooh, DAWN could stand for Domestic Violence Awareness Network. Just googled “Domestic Violence Awareness Network” with quotes, it only got 3 hits, 1 from Ireland (which uses the acronym DAWN), 1 for the Netherlands, and 1 on a church’s website as a descriptor of something else (it’s not the name).
Dawn Us [Domestic Violence Awareness Network US]
That’s all I got. Good luck!
PS: my computer geek boyfriend says that clearing the history should work, unless Flash is used on the site. Apparently, Flash is “notoriously hard to hide” because it has its own set of cookies.
October 26th, 2008 at 11:28 am
Jim says:
I’m not too great at this stuff.
Loving Arms, Healing Hands
Jim´s last blog post..Sunday Randomness
October 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am
muskrat says:
why do they hit?
it’s not your fault
mentioning the unmentionable
getting to why
an ounce of prevention
piercing the veil
impolite conversation
whispering through megaphones
you’re not helpless
uncovering the cover-up
muskrat´s last blog post..a few of my favorite mistakes
October 26th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Pamela says:
Not In My House
That’s the best I could do for a title, but…
I am a kick-ass baker and I’ll throw in two dozen fabulously well-made cookies to the winner.
Pamela´s last blog post..wordless wednesday
October 26th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
sam {temptingmama} says:
This is amazing Maggie. I absolutely love that you’re doing this!
I’m thinking of names.. I’ll be back.
Some key words I’m messing with include:
breakthrough
light
dawn
free
Maybe those will jar something for someone else.
breaking dawn would be good, but isn’t that a name of a book or something? *sheepish shrug*
sam {temptingmama}´s last blog post..Check Your Sexism At The Door Mister
October 26th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
JES says:
“Open the Blinds.”
JES´s last blog post..The Sunday-Morning Debate: Sweet or Savory?
October 26th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Pat says:
How about going for a bombshell?
Interrupt
Interruption results in change. It’s a risk. It takes courage. An interruption in a cycle can offer opportunities that are otherwise unavailable. An interruption in a pattern can disrupt the habitual/mindless continuation of that particular pattern.
Interrupt.com and Interrupt.org aren’t available. Both InterruptViolence.org and Interrupt-Speak.org are.
October 26th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Heather says:
Bruises Heal
With time, the body will begin to heal itself. With hope, the heart will learn to heal.
Heather´s last blog post..So? I’m snarky.
October 26th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
vodkamom says:
I LOVE Amy’s Beaten but not Broken. LOVE IT…
vodkamom´s last blog post..Fly my darling, fly…
October 26th, 2008 at 12:57 pm
steenky bee says:
I like something with the word “voices” worked into it.
(Also, I have a story for down the road if you need a contributing guest post)
steenky bee´s last blog post..Um…
October 26th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Carolyn Bahm says:
Great topic. Here’s my brain storm:
Peace at Home
No More Flinching
You Deserve Better
Deserving Peace
Safe House
Safe Home
Violence Unveiled
Out of Danger
Cruelty-Free Homes
Family Serenity
End Home Wars
Keep the Peace
Make Peace
Family Peace
Protect the Peace
Secure the Peace
Embrace Peace
Safe Harbour
Harmony
PAX
Resist Violence
CALM
Leave the Madness
Freedom to Go
Free to Go
Free to Leave
Domestic Tranquility
Behind Locked Doors
Fading Bruises
Abandon Violence
PJ Place (Peace and Joy Place)
HALT (Happy And Loving Tranquility)
Third Little Piggy (safe from the wolf, in his sturdy brick house)
Peace and Safety First
Peace and Safety at Home
Home Safe and Sound
Safe at Home
Safe Now
SOS (Safety, Order and Serenity)
Finding Safety
Find a Safe Haven
Peace Within, Peace Without
Peace Around Me
Courage to Find Peace
Peace and Strength at Home
Strong, Safe, Serene
Carolyn Bahm´s last blog post..LOLpolitics – Ur Doin’ It Right
October 26th, 2008 at 1:54 pm
kris says:
I like One Voice.
You’re really something, M, and I hope you know it. I’m sure people say so in comments, but I’m hoping sometimes you let it sink in, that people you don’t know think these wonderful things about you. I can’t imagine what it must be like to get to know you in real life.
Cheers and congratulations on this new adventure.
kris´s last blog post..Maxed
October 26th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Alison Veres says:
I think I like nomoredammit best.
My suggestion:
getyourgoddesson
This is because I’ve been studying about women’s spirituality, and I really believe there is great power and great energy that we can tap into as a community of women — empowering eachother, healing eachother. We are many, we are strong — and as we join together, work together, communicate, cooperate — we can fix things Maggie.
My God, this is like the fifth time I’ve read your blog and come away with the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. And this one actually has my hands shaking. It is an honor to watch you work. Building bridges. It’s beautiful.
October 26th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Katie says:
Unsilenced Voices
Katie´s last blog post..Sharing the love…
October 26th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
baroness von bloggenschtern says:
“Something I Did”
This not only speaks of the justification that many feel they must make when they are in the midst of it all, but also speaks of the singular, brave action they took to get out of it.
You are a treasure, Maggie.
baroness von bloggenschtern´s last blog post..There Be Some Junk in the Trunk
October 26th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Kim says:
How about something like, “Write to Safety”?
Kim´s last blog post..:: Adventures in Phone Banking
October 26th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Double Agent Girl says:
Violence Un-silenced
Double Agent Girl´s last blog post..Testing…
October 26th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Elizabeth says:
Your creative team here is pretty good, Maggie. There are a lot of good ideas posted!
I haven’t been as creative as I’d hoped today, though I’m totally inspired by this, but…
Often, when I seek to name a new endeavor, I visit a baby name finder site that I like. (This is actually how I named my first business)…so I did a search for a name that meant “voice” and got:
Calliope, a 4-syllable girl’s name of Greek origin, means: One with a beautiful voice.
…then I did a search for a name that means purple, since the symbolic color of DV awareness is purple, as in bruises, and got:
Crimson, a 2-syllable unisex name of Spanish origin, means: A deep purple.
then I created a short list of potentials:
~ Voices behind the purple veil
~ crimson choices
~ sleeping with the enemy (the old julia roberts movie?)
~ Home, safe, home
~ The silence that is deafening
~ purple sunsets before a new dawn
~ surviving the silence
~ purple flowers for calliope
~ when doves cry (probably licensing issues with Prince)
~ purple doves
Still thinkin’ though…When does the contest end?
~Elizabeth
October 26th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Rachel says:
I like Amy’s Beaten But Not Broken, but somehow the melody of this hits me harder:
Battered But Not Broken
Great idea for a website!
October 26th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Jennifer says:
Stay Safe. Stay Strong.
I’ll try to think of more!
Jennifer´s last blog post..Painting
October 26th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Chris/Formerly Fun says:
I like the suggestion of Yours, Mine, Ours, like it’s everyone’s problem and everyone is part of the solution. So that it would be googleable you could add tagline like
Yours, Mine, Ours: The voices of domestic violence
This also encompasses that if it’s not you, it’s someone you know. Great suggesstions from everyone.
Chris/Formerly Fun´s last blog post..Fleet EZ-Prep is the Devil
October 26th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
emmysuh says:
Maybe use the statistic, “One in Four.” Or something with “Survivors?” I’ll try to think of more. I know this probably doesn’t mean much, but I am so proud of you and so grateful that you are caring about this and not letting it go.
I too am working on an entry about domestic abuse, but it’s going to be a magnum opus, I’m typing on it as things come to me.
You’re great, Maggie!
October 26th, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Chris/Formerly Fun says:
I like the suggestion of Yours, Mine, Ours, like it’s everyone’s problem and everyone is part of the solution. So that it would be googleable you could add tagline like
Yours, Mine, Ours: The voices of domestic violence
This also encompasses that if it’s not you, it’s someone you know. Great suggesstions from everyone.
October 26th, 2008 at 6:59 pm
Mon says:
How about “Speak Out, Dammit”?
October 26th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
anymommy says:
An amazing idea. Wish I had something brilliant for you, but there are so many great suggestions already. I love No More, Dammit!
Not One More would be great as well. And agree, don’t forget the tagline is googleable (? word), so you can get the key words in there too. Like (example only)
Not One More
Stopping Domestic Violence before it starts
anymommy´s last blog post..Mommy Crack
October 26th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Heather says:
Whisper Out Loud
Heather´s last blog post..My Lair
October 26th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Candance says:
Wow, Maggie, you never cease to amaze me! I am so proud of you and the wonderful thing you’re doing here.
All I keep thinking about is how so many women are ashamed to tell anyone what’s happening to them in these situations, or if they do tell they beg whomever they told not to tell anyone because they can’t believe as a strong, college educated woman completely capable of making it on their own they are “letting” this happen to them (or so I hear), so how about something like “No more shame” or something like that?
Candance´s last blog post..Why I Vote
October 26th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Renée aka Mekhismom says:
I love No More Dammit!
This is a brilliant idea. I commend you for Giving a Voice to the Voiceless.
So many women feel voiceless – ashamed to admit abuse is happening. As a teen I was involved in such a situation -perhaps I can add my story to the bunch when you get the site going.
Renée aka Mekhismom´s last blog post..It’s A Launch!
October 26th, 2008 at 9:25 pm
Captain Steve says:
One in Four No More (OFNM)
Mending Souls
These are not near the level of awesome that the ones above are (No more dammit is good, I think), but it’s good to try to help. Excellent idea.
Captain Steve´s last blog post..Just a Small Town Girl!
October 26th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Petunia says:
I have nothing creative of my own to add, but I wholeheartedly second Elizabeth’s suggestion “Peace begins at home”
Also, “No more, dammit” is fantastic
Petunia´s last blog post..pirates of the indian ocean
October 26th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Eric S. says:
The first thing that popped into my head was “Love Shouldn’t Hurt”. But I really like the take your commentator’s have on silenced voices. How about the “Not So Silent”. I will like to this in My Blog. Awesome idea!!!!!!!!!!!
Eric S.´s last blog post..The Story of Chief Running Deer, and His Lovely Indian Maiden, Falling Rock
October 27th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Angel says:
Oh gosh, what a wonderful idea! After reading all the suggested names, I think every one I thought of has been mentioned already.
The comment that mentioned how it might need to be disguised is right. I just don’t know how you’ll do that and yet still have it familiar sounding enough to lead people to it.
I might not have a name for you, but if there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Maybe I can help support the site financially or at the very least, proofread articles or something!
October 27th, 2008 at 3:40 am
solargalaxy6 says:
When I was in Japan last year, I visited a Shrine, and found a marker that I’ve found inspirational – “May Peace Prevail on Earth”. (I’ve got a picture of it too, if you’d like…)
Perhaps something like “May Peace Prevail”? I know a lot of people are making suggestions that include the 1 in 4 statistic, but perhaps making it a little more glass-half-full would be a good way to go?
solargalaxy6
solargalaxy6´s last blog post..Email misunderstandings…
October 27th, 2008 at 5:08 am
Lara says:
Someone probably said this before. I didn’t make it through all the comments. But I kept thinking of how you wanted it informative, so that brought to mind the 1 in 4 stat. And how you’re letting them break the silence. So my suggestion is “One in Four Speaks”
Lara´s last blog post..One down… 6.5 to go…
October 27th, 2008 at 6:05 am
Meg says:
It may be too early (not enough caffeine yet) for me, but the two knee-jerk things I thought of were these:
How about using 10,000 Maniacs’ song “Trouble Me” to develop the theme. I love those lyrics – especially: “why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden
when my back is sturdy and strong? ”
and also: “let me…have a look inside these eyes while I’m learning
please don’t hide them just because of tears”
October 27th, 2008 at 6:11 am
Meg says:
It may be too early (not enough caffeine yet) for me, but the two knee-jerk things I thought of were these:
How about using 10,000 Maniacs’ song “Trouble Me” to develop the theme. I love those lyrics – especially: “why let your shoulders bend underneath this burden
when my back is sturdy and strong? ”
and also: “let me…have a look inside these eyes while I’m learning
please don’t hide them just because of tears”
Meg´s last blog post..Wanted: Wayfarers and a dummy body
October 27th, 2008 at 6:16 am
Deb on the Rocks says:
You are awesome, and so are these comments.
I’ve worked for DV and SV orgs, and I always wished someone would reinvent the initials DV, such as:
Daring Voices or Discovering My Voice.
October 27th, 2008 at 6:39 am
mamatulip says:
You have so many great suggestions here…
And this is such a fabulous idea…
A few ideas -
Speak Up, Stand Up
Phoenix Rising
I really like One in Four No More.
October 27th, 2008 at 7:37 am
Corina says:
How about “Take Back the Home” as a spin off from “Take Back the Night”
Corina´s last blog post..One Last Bloom – Wordless Wed.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:00 am
Emmy says:
Just suggestions for picking the name – if your purpose is to A)create a safe haven for victims to express their voices and B)spread awareness to other people, I’d definitely steer away from the more melodramtic and sad titles. I think it’s important to create a place of strength (oo, title?) with a feeling of uplifting (noun form? No?) -ness to celebrate those who have overcome adversity and to honor the memory of those who haven’t. Obviously, this is sad stuff, a sad life style, but I just don’t feel like something epic sad is fitting for what you’re trying to accomplish. But that’s just my two cents. Can’t wait to hear which one you pick, sure it’ll be great.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:04 am
just beth says:
Hey Maggie…
I wanted to comment on your DV post from before, but was in a pretty bad spot, and revisiting that part of my life sucks even when I’m mentally stable (!!). I’m so glad you’re doing this, please let me know if you need any stories or whatever.
My idea is ‘Hands Are Not For Hitting”.
xo
b.
just beth´s last blog post..Directional Dyslexia
October 27th, 2008 at 8:16 am
Rhea says:
“No more, damnit” is brilliant!
“Act Now, Damnit” is my contribution.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Rhea says:
or…”Do Something, Damnit.”
Rhea´s last blog post..Just a man enjoying his meat
October 27th, 2008 at 8:37 am
KatFrench says:
The best I could come up with was “Out of the Shadows.”
I agree with the person who said that anything that directly references domestic violence is going to be hard to keep women on the page.
And be sure that the header includes a fast “ESCAPE” link that leads to some site that wouldn’t get a viewer beaten for being caught viewing.
– This is good, meaningful work, Maggie. Kudos.
KatFrench´s last blog post..Finding Your Center
October 27th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Rhea says:
“Don’t just stand there, Damnit.”
Rhea´s last blog post..Just a man enjoying his meat
October 27th, 2008 at 8:41 am
Paula says:
Talk is Stronger. (Talk is Stronger, Dammit?)
Strength, Not Shame.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:45 am
maggie, dammit says:
As much as I love the ‘dammit’ suggestions (and as clever as that is) I have to stay away from it. This blog will be directly attached to my professional name and I don’t want to run into the same problems I have with this blog.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Pamela says:
Of all the ideas, I like ‘no more, dammit!’ the best.
Pamela´s last blog post..wordless wednesday
October 27th, 2008 at 8:48 am
D says:
http://www.tro.com is available. nearly all abused who finally find the strength to stand up and say no more file for a TRO, which i’m sure you know stands for ‘temporary restraining order’. the 48 hours it covers can be some of the most terrifying moments an abused person lives through. waiting for the abuser to find out, find them, and do god knows what. i hid my sister during those 48 hours and lived through them with her before putting her on a plane to spend the next three months a thousand miles from home. no doubt there are more eloquent and fitting names. this is the first thing that popped into my head.
October 27th, 2008 at 8:58 am
Paula says:
A Place To Be Heard
October 27th, 2008 at 9:13 am
Elizabeth says:
What about the name of the article you wrote (Since it was the impetus for this new endeavor anyway)? it sounds like it’s a continuation of that article so why now carry it through?
~Elizabeth
Another I came up with in the night:
Love me, Love me not (with a simple flower logo with one petal off to symbolize the one in four?)
Still thinking…
~Elizabeth
October 27th, 2008 at 9:15 am
Paula says:
Because “Safe At Home” Shouldn’t Just be in Baseball.
October 27th, 2008 at 9:42 am
Anna A says:
Perhaps this has been mentioned but what about “Confronting Violence”
The first google result is a link to a Rutgers page about violence against women. And the domain is still available
This sounds like an amazingly worthwhile project–I wish you all the best.
October 27th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Bill Turner says:
What about ” When it REALLY hits at home”…… Want My story Maggie?
October 27th, 2008 at 9:54 am
just beth says:
wow, hands are not for hitting is such a great idea, someone already wrote a book titled that!
crap. sorry.
i’ll give it more thought. and then i’ll google it FIRST.
xo
b.
just beth´s last blog post..Directional Dyslexia
October 27th, 2008 at 10:00 am
we_be_toys says:
You rock woman – but then you knew that.
A lot of good names in here…I liked the “Peace” angle – maybe “Domestic Peace”
“Sisters Standing Together”
“Strength in Numbers”
“Breaking the Cycle” – “Breaking the Chain”
“Hands that Heal” – “Healing Hearts”
I think this an idea that’s time has come, one that needs all the help it can get. (PS – I have an easy and killer recipe for cookies on my page, or just ask me – I know a ton of good and simple cookie recipes, if you need one or two or three or whatever)
we_be_toys´s last blog post..Brief Candle
October 27th, 2008 at 10:14 am
jill says:
Great Idea, how about
A Voice United (against abuse) sub head
Safe-House
I’ll keep thinking
jill´s last blog post..Special Wings
October 27th, 2008 at 10:20 am
viv says:
maggie,
this is a great idea. There are many great suggestions and I have a few please forgive me if these have been mentioned already.
- RESPECT
- love shouldn’t hurt
- Taking Action
October 27th, 2008 at 10:24 am
jill says:
Great idea
how about
Safe-House
A voice United (sub head) against abuse
I’ll try to think of more
jill´s last blog post..Special Wings
October 27th, 2008 at 10:49 am
mariah says:
What a great idea, I will totally help out with the forum. I have SO much advice to give, because I escaped, barely.
Seriously, if you need ANY help just ask.
My ideas
Shit, I’m going to take a shower and then come back with some…hopefully
mariah´s last blog post..Wow, THAT Was Fun
October 27th, 2008 at 10:59 am
Amy says:
ok, it’s Amy again. I have a couple more. (If I am repeating I apologize, there are a lot to read.
. )
Living Through The Storm
Why Does Love Hurt
The Beauty Within – (lets face it. for the 14 total years of my abuse, I always felt like there HAD to be something in me that was really ugly to deserve that much hate and indifference to be thrown towards me, It’s taken 5 years of the man I am now married to telling me as often as he can that I am beautiful and deserve everything good that comes to me to make me start to feel like I am worth being a “person” again).
Another suggestion is “Why I Cry”. You yourself are brought to tears by this subject and many of my fellow commenters here are as well. This is also a little less of a gender biased title. I know a lot of people are focusing on domestic violence against women, but we need to remember that an alarming rate of men are also beaten and broken every day. Some of those men are the same men that become abusers, but more times than not, the men are MORE frightened than the women are to come forward because of the stigma that it bears to “Be A Real Man” and how most people believe that a MAN cannot be Abused or Raped.
Hate is hate, Intolerence is intolerence, Abuse is abuse, and No means no.
*sorry went off on a bit of a tangent there, but I am feeling very passionate today*
Amy´s last blog post..Eight More Posts…
October 27th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Bennie says:
Wow! You really have a difficult choice, Maggie. What a great problem to have!
Bennie´s last blog post..
October 27th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Megan says:
– Twenty-five Percent
– Love Hurts
Megan´s last blog post..Our First Kiss
October 27th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Zak says:
What a wonderful idea, Maggie.
Good luck with this. Amazing.
Zak´s last blog post..Cupcake Holder
October 27th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Alison Veres says:
http://www.shelterfromabuse.com doesn’t look like it’s being used. It’s clear and to the point. and gender-neutral. and googleable.
not sexy, or edgy… but I guess that’s not really the point.
October 27th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
XUP says:
Wow, lots of good suggestions. I like the connections with “love” that some people have made because it really does get confused in domestic violence cases love/pain — so as some people mentioned Love Shouldn’t Hurt, but maybe even stronger than that: “Love Doesn’t Hurt” or “Love Never Hurts”
XUP´s last blog post..Sex, Lies & Friendship
October 27th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
XUP says:
Wow, lots of good suggestions. I like the connections with “love” that some people have made because it really does get confused in domestic violence cases love/pain — so as some people mentioned Love Shouldn’t Hurt, but maybe even stronger than that: “Love Doesn’t Hurt” or “Love Never Hurts”
October 27th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
lceel says:
On My Feet
lceel´s last blog post..Once too often…
October 27th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
kellie says:
breaking the silence
hear my words
feel my words
words heal
healing for the one in four
as long as there is domestic violence support or something descriptive in the tag line of the title, it should not matter that the title itself is not terribly google-able…right?
excellent idea, maggie.
October 27th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Eric S. says:
I just have to say, I thing Deb has got it. Perfect!!!! I love the Daring Voice’s
#
“Deb on the Rocks says:
You are awesome, and so are these comments.
I’ve worked for DV and SV orgs, and I always wished someone would reinvent the initials DV, such as:
Daring Voices or Discovering My Voice.”
Eric S.´s last blog post..Silence, Is It Really Golden?
October 27th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Kelley says:
I don’t really have any entries. Something with butterflies is my gut instinct, flying, beauty, but delicate.
But I just wanted to say that the name needs to be googleable. To reach the biggest audience. When someone is thinking about leaving an abusive home, sometimes they will just randomly go to google, in the hope to find the miracle, and hopefully will find your site. So although there are many wonderful entries, you will need to pick something that is instantly recognizable. I know this cause I get at least 50 hits a day from google with people looking for the Magneto Bold font.
Kelley´s last blog post..The big one ohhhh!
October 27th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Jett says:
A couple years back, I wrote a piece on not letting anyone steal your voice, and it was based in part on my own experience with being abused by a spouse.
I’m sure you’ve found in your research that many abused women started out as strong, capable people only to be torn down slowly, losing what was once a steady and clear voice in the noise of an ugly relationship. I would be willing to lay money on this.
We, the victims (and LORD, HOW I HATE THAT WORD), wake up one day startled to realize that we have either relinquished our voices or they have been squelched by someone so insecure and/or overzealous about their own voice being the resonant one in the home.
The day you make a stand for yourself, the day you move on your own behalf, the day you take steps to help yourself, the time that you admit to someone that, yes, things are out of control and you desperately, desperately need their involvement, then your voice begins to return. Therefore, I think you should title this project
Returning Voice
To me it doesn’t sound all namby-pamby, it feels empowered but conveys the tenuous tightrope sort of walk back to ‘okay’. That’s what we all want…for things to be just, at a minimum, ‘okay’ again. Once you hit okay, then you have enough hope and will to strive for AMAZING.
If anyone else has already submitted this one, sorry. I’ve not read the accompanying comments (yet).
October 27th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
X says:
DoVi
X´s last blog post..How I Spent My Saturday
October 27th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Jett says:
…also, it’s google and godaddy tested. All clear!
October 27th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
jen says:
A room of our own.
In my tribe
the bridge across our backs
jen´s last blog post..letting my conscience be my guide
October 27th, 2008 at 8:56 pm
jen says:
oh, one more:
shelter from the storm.
xo
jen´s last blog post..letting my conscience be my guide
October 27th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
karey m. says:
do you even know…this is going to be huge. well done…xoxo.
karey m.´s last blog post..after while…
October 27th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
The Introvert says:
Awesome idea. I will have to come up with a name worthy to post on here. My brain is mushy right now.
The Introvert´s last blog post..redneckery
October 27th, 2008 at 10:48 pm
O'Neal says:
I really like “No More Dammit!” & “One In Four No More” (and all the variation’s of it!).
All I could come up with that hasn’t already been said is:
Lash Out
Last Lash Out
Love Lashes Out
(none of these has been taken)
That’s all I got so far, but will be thinking the rest of the day!
And as always, you never cease to amaze & inspire all that you touch! This is going to be great, and I know so many woman that will be grateful!
xoxo
O’Neal´s last blog post..Anywhere But Here
October 28th, 2008 at 5:23 am
KayO says:
Maggie, I think the most memorable sites tend to have a person’s name in them: craigslist, dottie’s weight loss zone, huffington post, etc. I would vote for Maggie’s Something. MaggiesShelter. MaggiesCocoon. MaggiesBlanket. (Something fairly easy to spell and remember.)
October 28th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Fannie says:
Having gone through this with a sibling:
Sister, Mother, Daughter, Me
Not gender neutral, but a thought.
Fannie´s last blog post..I Haz a Problum
October 28th, 2008 at 7:30 am
Alison Veres says:
How about this:
Choose woman!
Either as a name for the website, or as a request from one impatient fan of your work to decide!
To paraphrase Tim Curry (a la Frank N. Furter of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame):
You make me quiver with anticip…………..
…..ation!
Alison Veres´s last blog post..The Bunkbed Eats My Fingers
October 28th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Teri says:
New reader & blogger. I was studious and nerd-ish in high school, as in blog world.
Wonderful idea & use of your talent.
Brainstorm of Ideas: (I spell horribly)
Will the Circle go Unbroken?
Love Shouldn’t Hurt
Safe Harbor: Stop the Violence
Safe Harbor: Shelter from Domestic Abuse
Sisters in Spirit: Confronting Domestic Abuse
Calling out Change
Healing Stories
Sister Storyteller
Families Hope: Putting an end to Domestic Abuse
Rebirth from Domestic Abuse
Cycle Toward Peace
Peaceful Warriors
Sojourners of Peace
Toward Peace
Aftershocks
Fighting Back with Words
Words that End the Hurt
Speaking Truth to Violence
Speaking Out
Speaking a Path to Peace
Stories Toward Peace
Speaking a Way Out
1 in 4 : No More
Chains of Abuse Broken with Words
Fists Stopped with Words
Battered but not Broken
UnBroken
UnBroken Words
… just ideas. Good luck.
Teri´s last blog post..Virtue of Diversity
October 28th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
Asthmagirl says:
After reading this, I re-thought why I had not spoken up more about my own experiences as a survivor of domestic violence. My post today is in support of of your new blog.
You may use the title as well…. the face of courage.
October 29th, 2008 at 8:31 am
O'Neal says:
I get what KayO is saying and agree!
What about Maggie’s House? Or Maggie’s Porch? Something that infers a safe haven.
You DID have a mistress knocking on your front door for help, right?
AND, you are the one heading all this up and IMO (& a lot of others I’m sure) are nothing short of a super hero, so you SHOULD have your name in the title!
I can’t wait to see this progress! (TOTALLY not trying to stress you out!) It just REALLY hits home for me as my late MIL was a victim of DV till the day she died. I remember spending 8 straight hours desperately trying to find help for her, but every one turned out to to require HER to be the one calling, although I explained the terrifying situation and how she was way too scared to reach out for fear of being beaten one last time. When the cancer finally DID take her life, years too early, she STILL had a black eye, bruises, and several broken ribs.=( It kills me to think of another single woman to have to suffer silently ever, EVER again!
O’Neal´s last blog post..Anywhere But Here
October 30th, 2008 at 2:38 am
PsychMamma says:
My brain is tired, but it’s going to ponder this for a while. The first thing that popped in there?
Finding Freedom
I don’t know how many times I told people that I felt like I was finally out of jail. Finding freedom – finding peace – finding me – that’s what it was about for me.
What an awesome thing you’re doing. You rock.
October 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Kat says:
Kid of corny, but…
On My Way to Okay
October 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pm
tony says:
daddy hit mommy
November 1st, 2008 at 3:43 pm
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