Gustav
August 29, 2005
It is evening in Wisconsin, the air sticky and still, not a single breeze whispering through the open windows of my living room. I am glued to my television.
2,000 miles away, Hurricane Katrina is wreaking cataclysmic havoc. Over the next few days I sit frozen before the sickly blue light, images of terror dancing across the screen. I watch helplessly as She decimates 60 miles of coastline, as She drowns grandmothers and children in their attics. As the levies break, as newly homeless people lie wedged like sardines in the stadium, as families stare incredulously at piles of rubble.
More than once, I curl up on my safe, undamaged sofa, and I weep.
December, 2007
Lance Myers speaks so quietly I can hardly hear him. I keep leaning in, keep pushing my recorder closer to him so it will catch his softly spoken story.
He is leaving his job as the sports photographer for the newspaper that employs me. It’s been over a year since the storm, and Mississippi, a state he’s come to think of as a second home, remains severely crippled. There are still 39,000 families living in FEMA trailers. 39,000 families in Mississippi alone.
Lance clears his throat; the newsworthy tale pours out; my pen scribbles furiously. Four weeks after Katrina hit, he and two friends collected 14,000 pounds of supplies from their fellow Wisconsinites, trucked them down to Pass Christian, to Gulfport, to Long Beach, MS, and set up shelter in the gymnasium of the South Mississippi Regional Mental Health Center. Seventy percent of the residents of The Pass lost everything, and Lance was determined to help them get it back. Over the next year he made monthly week-long trips to volunteer where he could — to comb the ditches for family photos, to pull bicycles from treetops, to feed and water and clothe and comfort whomever crossed his path.
It’s December now, and he has decided all the work he’s done is not enough. He has quit his jobs, and in a few weeks he will say goodbye to his wife, move to the gulf coast, and begin a two-year personal mission. Someone from our tiny Wisconsin community has donated a small trailer for him to stay in, and he will take a job at the SMRC, the same place he set up those donated supplies. Every day, he will work at the center, then spend his nights and weekends continuing to help Katrina victims recover. Every month, he will send mortgage money home to his wife of 38 years in Wisconsin. Every minute, he will ache for his family.
“That’s amazing,” I say, breathlessly, once he has finished. Then, “I’d like to do that.”
“What’s stopping you?” he smiles, a twinkle in his eye.
I think about all the sacrifices he’s making, and I know the answer before I speak it aloud.
“Nothing.”
Summer, 2007
Dave drives our van down Highway 90, a stretch of ocean-front road along the gulf coast once lined with magnificent old homes. It’s been two years since Katrina, but very little has been rebuilt — the clean-up alone took well over a year.
Along this beachfront drive now we see only the occasional shell of a formerly grand house; mostly it is cement slab after cement slab after cement slab. The air is thick with the ghosts of people we never knew, people we are somehow mourning anyway. I shudder when I realize the road we’re driving on was 30 feet beneath the water on that fateful day.
This is the second relief trip I’ve made since meeting Lance; the first was several months earlier, with three high school kids and one other chaperone, for nine days. This time, I brought my family — my husband whose skilled labor is far more valuable than any help I can provide, and my children, whom I wish to teach that life is so much more than Barbies and trampolines. I’ve shown them the pictures, told them the stories of the work I did here, the work my friend Lance is doing every day, but the ideas are too abstract, and I’m flailing. I want so badly for them to understand why we are here, at least on some level.
So we’re driving that stretch of road and it’s getting dark and I’m getting sad and suddenly Gretta speaks.
“I just think about if it were the opposite situation,” she says. “If people in Wisconsin needed help, and the Mississippi people came to help us.”
And yes, she really does say ‘opposite situation.’ And yes, she is only seven years old. And yes, my heart swells. And I know she finally gets it, what we’re all doing here.
And then a 2-year-old Emma screams and points, and I follow her sight line to a towering McDonald’s sign, its yellow lights blown clean, an empty slab where the restaurant once stood.
“Mickadonowds is bwoken!” she wails, and I think it’s the closest she’ll come to getting it, too.
And I think it is close enough.
August 29, 2008
Lance’s two year mission is almost up, and he’s accomplished so much, impacted so many lives. He started a blog several months back to document his project, and I’ve been following my friend’s efforts closely — but today’s message is ominous.
Lance is battening down the hatches. Tropical Storm Gustov is slowly gathering momentum off the coast of Cuba, and plans to strike the gulf coast Sunday, maybe Monday. Lance is tying down his trailer, and he is headed back to the shelter he built for others almost two years ago, to take shelter himself.
I’m on my couch again, staring at the blackened television. Though its power is off, I can see the ghosts of the technicolor images from three years ago.
I think about how ironic it is that today marks the three year anniversary of Katrina, that Lance’s two years are almost up, that this Labor Day weekend may bring the storm that starts his labor all over again. At best, it will bring horrific memories for Katrina’s survivors. At worst, new memories will be forged.
And I can’t help but think about what it means, that I’m praying for the hurricane to miss my friend, to go elsewhere — because that means it will hit someone else’s friend.
And I know I’ll be thinking all weekend about walls of water that flatten buildings and dreams, about ocean breaks and broken hearts, about how easily the lives we build can be erased in a single, salty instant.
And I’m thinking if there’s anything I’ve learned since I met Lance, it’s that no matter what happens this weekend, they will rebuild.
At least, as best they can.
And I hope they know that no matter what happens this weekend, strangers will come from thousands of miles away to help.
At least, as best they can.
*******
Ironically, one of my favorite bloggers — one I’ve only known a short time — lives in Pass Christian. Please read her story today and pass it along.
Margaret (Nanny Goats) says:
Beautiful writing and a moving story! I’m off to read Lance’s and the one in Pass Christian’s blog.
Margaret (Nanny Goats)s last blog post..And from the Thank You Sir May I Have Another Department…
August 29th, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Maria says:
Everyone on the gulf coast is in my thoughts right now. I hope this one overlooks them.
Beautiful, as usual.
Marias last blog post..Say it with me now – “Homophobic”. And now – “Stereotypical”. Or maybe just “Ignorant.”
August 29th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
Jim says:
An all around excellent piece. Off to read Lance’s stuff as well…
Jims last blog post..How to kill your IT Department plus the seperate topic of Kindergarten
August 29th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Jennifer says:
Whoa.
I’m in California and was surprised that it was a little cloudy today. Reading your blog and Veleveteen Mind today, it makes the gulf coast situation seem much more real, even from thousands of miles away.
I will be watching the hurricane news much more closely now, hoping that people like Lance are doing OK.
August 29th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Pamela says:
Your words are never just words. You realize that, no?
Pamelas last blog post..statistically dead guy with pet barracuda
August 29th, 2008 at 6:18 pm
Natalie says:
I work at a company that was located in Biloxi until Katrina. Many of my coworkers have stories to tell me. I hope this storm passes those that are left without incident.
Natalies last blog post..Mother Nature puts on a show
August 29th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Miss Britt says:
There is so much I want to say here – so much I’m feeling. But I can’t, because I find it’s all twisted up in my own memories from this summer and the tornado that left our families and friends homeless.
And it’s just all… too much. Too, too much.
Miss Britts last blog post..The Tits
August 29th, 2008 at 7:05 pm
Coast Rat says:
Maggs:
I hardly know what to say…
You are such a beautiful soul…
Thank you for informing others about life and challenges and threats to their very existence for families living here on the Gulf Coast.
Many people here continue to make preparations for Gustav; not all though, strangely enough.
In the morning, we evacuate the clients to facilities to the north. Many staff will go with them, and be with them all the time they are away.
Went for a drive this evening; took a lot of pics; I pray that Gustav does not change everything and hurt families like Katrina did…
Thanks again, and take care,
Lance (Coast Rat)
Coast Rats last blog post..GUSTAV UPDATE: HEADING INTO THE GULF
August 29th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
amelia bedelia says:
my husbands parents live in the florida panhandle. they also had major damage from katrina. i am praying gustav does not strike them or anyone again. so scary.
amelia bedelias last blog post..Poker Face
August 29th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
we_be_toys says:
You have such a powerful voice – this is a timely post indeed. I’ve been watching Gustav and Hanna for several days now – had a bad feeling a couple of days ago – it looked like it was going to go over New Orleans again, and all I could think of was all those poor people who still haven’t rebuilt their lives there, who may never be able to rebuild. I know that but for the grace of a cold front from Canada, timed just right, that could be us. It’s been 12 years since Fran came right up the Cape Fear and dropped trees everywhere around here, and that was nothing compared to Katrina. Katrina. I don’t ever want to see a hurricane that tops that one.
I’m with you on the couch this weekend…
we_be_toyss last blog post..Mammaries, Like The corners of My Boobs
August 29th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
chanda says:
They’ve been on my mind a lot too, the folks along the gulf coast. I can’t begin to imagin the panic and dread they must be feeling right now. I’ve been an east coast girl all my life, I’ve seen storms, but nothing like what they lived through, what they lost. I’m hoping for a miracle, for diving intervention from mother nature. I’m hoping Gustav just goes away, fades before he comes ashore.
Beautiful post, and as always, your words inspire.
Im off to read about your friends.
chandas last blog post..A Surprise Ending
August 29th, 2008 at 8:12 pm
SAM says:
Wow. I wish I could be more eloquent than that, but…wow. You and Lance and all the others who have gone there to rebuild what Katrina ravaged (and the mishandling of our government worsened), are the quiet heroes that inspire me. Thank you. I’ll be praying that Mother Nature knocks the wind out of Gustav’s sails and everyone will be kept safe.
SAMs last blog post..The Clompy Chronicles, Part 3
August 29th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Captain Dumbass says:
Great post. I’m so glad we don’t get those up here.
Captain Dumbasss last blog post..My Drag Name
August 29th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
krista says:
your words breath and beat and hum and chant. they’re palpable. reading you is like feeling love/loss/regret/redemption all at once. and thank you for introducing people like lance to others like me, who would never know of him otherwise. he makes me believe that people really are good.
kristas last blog post..seven months
August 29th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
karey m. says:
first. this was…so quietly crushing that i’ll probably whisper for the rest of the day.
second. you need to get a kirtsy button. better yet? they should just provide a direct link. whenever you write, it should be plastered on kirtsy’s front page.
will. work. on. that. xoxo.
karey m.s last blog post..to whom it may concern…
August 29th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
vodkamom says:
that was very touching. I will join the others in reading your recommendations, and in praying for our “neighbors.”
vodkamoms last blog post..School shit
August 30th, 2008 at 5:08 am
tysdaddy says:
What I said yesterday? On my blog? Nevermind . . .
This is a moving and timely tribute. Great writing, Maggie.
Times like these remind me how small the world is.
tysdaddys last blog post..Wait
August 30th, 2008 at 6:37 am
patty says:
you are a gifted writer (and a good soul). i’ll be back.
pattys last blog post..cranky with a chance of vomit
August 30th, 2008 at 7:07 am
jenboglass says:
Truly amazing. You write beautifully. Touching.
jenboglasss last blog post..Cleaning House A Bit: Webby Things
August 30th, 2008 at 9:56 am
GUSTAV UPDATE: IT’S GETTING CLOSER, …AND STRONGER « Coast Rat says:
[...] evening, after arriving back at my trailer, I ran across my dear friend Maggie-Dammit’s post about the friendship we share, and how very much it connects with my life here on the coast. [...]
August 30th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Heather says:
I meant to comment on this last night, but then I ended up at that blog. Thanks for bringing us to meet them Maggie.
Heathers last blog post..The Adultery Party
August 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Poor Souls « irregularly periodic ruminations says:
[...] 2008 by Heinous I read many blogs and many of the topics touch me. Maggie has an awesome post here that is beautifully written and really captures the human condition. I’ve also read ones that [...]
August 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
qt says:
My fingers are crossed…
qts last blog post..Wednesday Obsessions: Is There An Echo In Here?
August 30th, 2008 at 1:28 pm
But Why Mommy / Renee says:
Beautiful post.
But Why Mommy / Renees last blog post..Anxious
August 30th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
noble pig says:
I love Lance, I can’t even believe these things are happening again. I wish, hope and pray that storm takes a turn and heads back out to sea.
August 30th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
megan says:
Thank you for your post and for the equally awesome links. I’m sitting at my brother’s house in Houston waiting and watching Gustav. I just moved back to New Orleans, my home, in April and while this is part of the deal, it doesn’t make it any less stressful or upsetting. But we’ll go back, again and again, because that is what we do. We may lose faith in a lot of things but never in our city.
August 30th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Anissa@Hope4Peyton says:
I’m in Tampa and it’s so hard because while I’m grateful that it is not my family staring down the eye of that storm, my heart hurts so much for the areas that are reliving that nightmare. I have so many friends there and I am praying for the safety and lives of each and every citizen.
What Lance does, what you did, is amazing.
Anissa@Hope4Peytons last blog post..I was sort of hoping for a doctor or an engineer
August 30th, 2008 at 4:26 pm
For Myself says:
Can’t seem to peel myself away from the coverage of this storm. Gustav feels daunting and ominous, and so very much bigger than we are.
For Myselfs last blog post..Billy
August 30th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Veronica says:
You know I don’t pray. I’m just not a religious person.
I am praying that Gustav fizzles out over the ocean. I am praying people are prepared enough. I am praying that it doesn’t wreack the havoc that they suspect it will.
Veronicas last blog post..Amy
August 30th, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Mommy Cracked says:
Isn’t Lance the greatest? Excellent post, Miss Maggie.
Mommy Crackeds last blog post..Because My Inner Librarian Just Won’t Shut Up
August 30th, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Rachel says:
Sitting in the Gulf Coast of TX right now and anxiously watching the news alerts, I have somehow come across your blog.
Thank you for writing this. It is beautiful, personal and full of hope.
I pray for everyone this may affect and I pray that more are touched, moved and inspired as you and Lance were.
God Bless you and all who are about to be ‘Gustav’ed’
Rachels last blog post..‘O’ Nose
August 30th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Insta-Mom says:
Beautifully said. Lance, Megan, and so many others are in our thoughts.
Insta-Moms last blog post..ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJHIGFEDCBA
August 30th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Andrea's Sweet Life says:
It’s so hard to sit back and watch when you know thousands of people are going to go through something terrible.
I don’t even know the word for that.
August 30th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Captain Steve says:
I really have nothing that I can say that hasn’t been said before, but good luck to the folks down there. We’re all pulling for them. This was soul crushing, Maggie.
Captain Steves last blog post..An Open Letter To Jo March
August 30th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
Debbie says:
Oh girl, you have left me speechless on this one. Lance is an unsung hero and my prayers are with him and everyone along the coast. I’m going to visit your dear friend….
Debbies last blog post..Michelangelo’s David….
August 31st, 2008 at 4:00 am
Carolyn Online says:
Just heartbreaking.
Carolyn Onlines last blog post..Saturday night post = I’m a loser.
August 31st, 2008 at 4:51 am
Meg says:
My mom went down on a church trip to help. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it all must have been. Sending money and baby clothes seems miniscule compared to actually going, to touching lives.
We’re glued to the radar and hoping it tracks between the two areas and causes the least amount of damage, all things considered. Of course, someone takes it full force and that’s why it’s riveting to watch it creep up through the water, steadily, slowly…
Megs last blog post..Dated Reference Primer: The Mimeograph Machine
August 31st, 2008 at 5:34 am
Emily says:
Thank you for posting this. I’m posting about my Katrina experience right now. Granted, I didn’t lose everything like those in MS and others in my former hometown of New Orleans did, but I needed to finally put it down on paper. Thanks for this. By mid-afternoon today, I’ll have a houseful of evacuees from the New Orleans area. Pray for all of us.
August 31st, 2008 at 6:42 am
vodkamom says:
I’m still praying for all the brave souls on the Gulf Coast. pray, pray, pray.
p.s. you’re too damn nice- loved the comment about your kids teachers. no worries- most of us love our jobs.
vodkamoms last blog post..Stuck in School!!!
August 31st, 2008 at 9:18 am
PAPA says:
you capitalized on a great point which is sometimes you can’t understand the scope of something until you see it with your own eyes…even if it hurts to look at…excellent post
PAPAs last blog post..Hangin’ with Mr Black – The beginnings
August 31st, 2008 at 9:44 am
Felicity says:
So terrifying. Just want to understand. There is no understanding. There is no explanation of terror and unfortunate circumstances that are completely out of anyone’s control. Bewildering and exhausting.
Felicitys last blog post..Why I now have to fake my own death….
August 31st, 2008 at 10:23 am
Christina says:
Thanks to coastrat, I came over to say hi. Then read about 10 older posts and fell in love with your writing. He is right. You are a Sensation
Thanks also for the link to Velveteen Mind – another wonderful find and someone else to add to my list of safe and dry thoughts for the coming days.
Christinas last blog post..Week 0
August 31st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Ok, Where Was I? says:
Wonderful post. It is absolutely incredible that it could be on such an anniversary.
Ok, Where Was I?s last blog post..What Can I Say?
August 31st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
quin browne says:
i don’t remember how lance and i hooked up (as it were)… referred from other blogs, i reckon.
he’s in my part of the world, where i was born and raised… i lived though hilda, betsy, camille… my family is still in the city we’ve called home since the 1840’s….
they are all evacuated now… when the bitch hit, two of my cousins lost everything… they’ve just finished rebuilding… and now, this.
lance does something remarkable; he steps up and helps people he didn’t know. he stepped up when katrina hit, and brought in supplies… he and his family have given part of their lives to rebuild my home area.
i wish i was a tenth the person he is…
i will be there after gustav… he’s set a good example for all of us.
quin brownes last blog post..The Investment’s Car
August 31st, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Karen MEG says:
The power of nature, it just puts things into perspective doesn’t it? I’m hoping that things don’t get as serious as they say, I really do.
Your friend Lance is a special, special man. And you are a very special lady for highlighting his efforts and making a difference by showing us that one person can indeed make a impact.
Amazing post, Maggie.
Karen MEGs last blog post..Weekly Winners #34 – Summer in the City
August 31st, 2008 at 5:42 pm
CHris/Formerly Fun says:
First, beautifully written. Second, I love that you took your kids. My husband and I talk all the time about how to best mold our kids and it always comes down to leading by example. Having children has actually made me a better person becaue I know they are watching me all the time, and no doubt like most parents, I want them to be better than I am. Kinder, more compassionate, more forgiving, more understanding and even more sacrificing. It took me a long time to realize the insignificance of professional achievement and personal accomplishment as compared with doing what is good and right. I enjoy everything you write, this really hit the mark.
CHris/Formerly Funs last blog post..I Can See Clearly Now
August 31st, 2008 at 8:43 pm
melissa says:
That was very touching Maggie. Lance is such a lovely soul and my heart is there with him as well. I will be keeping everyone there in my thoughts and hoping with all I have that it won’t even come close to what it was… I hope.
melissas last blog post..the chai story
August 31st, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Bluestreak says:
By far the best post I´ve read in weeks. Thank you for writing that.
Bluestreaks last blog post..Piecing together my Habitus
September 1st, 2008 at 6:03 am
andrea askowitz says:
I got here via Black Hockey Jesus and I’m so glad I did. That was a beautiful post. I lived through hurricane Andrew. I have been afraid of thunderstorms ever since. I loved how you said at best Gustav will bring back bad memories, at worst new memories. Chilling.
September 1st, 2008 at 8:35 am
quin browne says:
i borrowed your photo of lance, to put on my blogsite… i wrote about him, and my little neck of the woods…. and i didn’t have any of my own.
mea culpa.
quin brownes last blog post..Coast Rat
September 1st, 2008 at 10:41 am
b says:
I cannot help but love (unconditionally) a human that truly lives the power of their convictions! This is the best blog I have read in a quite a while. Thank you.
Thank you for the contact on my Flickr account. I just got around to updating and looking at my mail.
b
bs last blog post..Kidney Tranplant Needed! Can you help?
September 1st, 2008 at 10:53 am
manager mom says:
I finally set aside enough time to read this properly – with no children buzzing around and no distractions – and all I can say is, I feel honored to know you, even if it’s just through the air that is the internet. And I feel almost as proud for you when Gretta made that observation as I would have felt if it came from my own seven year old.
manager moms last blog post..At Least I Know What She Wanted To Buy At Target
September 1st, 2008 at 12:31 pm
distracted spunk says:
As per usual, brilliance. I think you just have a way of stating things with such complexity and simplicity that it renders the reader speechless.
Your daughters are so lucky to have such a conscientious and caring mother who wants to show them the world as it is. That Greta recognizes the severity of the situation is a testament to your teaching abilities.
distracted spunks last blog post..August 27, 2008.
September 1st, 2008 at 6:14 pm
deb on the rocks says:
I love you, Lance. And Megan of course. And you, Maggie, Dammit.
deb on the rockss last blog post..A Night-Night story for Sarah Palin’s Baby
September 1st, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Zip n Tizzy says:
It’s certainly been on our minds all weekend.
Blessings to them all.
September 1st, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Ellie says:
Hope you’re all hanging in there. Thanks for this…..
Ellies last blog post..Reduced
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
GUSTAV UPDATE: IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE FOR SOUTH MISSISSIPPI « Coast Rat says:
[...] for all the visits, the incredible comments, emails, and calls from you to myself and others here. Maggie, Quin, Mandy,Dawn, Christine, The West Virgina Watcher, THANK YOU ESPECIALLY, for your beautiful [...]
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:31 pm
Gypsy says:
When you see that number — 39,000 — it sucker punches you. Because that’s families. Not people. Families. 39,000 families.
I still can’t get my head around it. Thanks for writing this.
Gypsys last blog post..Hab SoSlI’ Quch!*
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
Okay, Fine, Dammit » What are you contributing with all that hate? says:
[...] around me. All around you, too, I bet. Look at what she is doing for flood victims, look at what he has done in the south. In less than a week we will either have our first man of color or our first female in [...]
October 31st, 2008 at 9:52 am