14 Reasons I Hate Kansas
1. KC had a huge chemical explosion like six months ago. It’s a potential wasteland. They’ll have to drink bottled water there for the rest of their natural lives.
2. Judy Garland died after filming a movie about Kansas once.
3. Don Johnson (1959) was born in Kansas.
4. So was Amelia Earhart (1897) and look what happened to HER.
5. Kansas produced six known mass murderers and/or bank robbers between 1866 and 1945. Yeah.
6. So they lead the nation in sunflower production. Big whoop.
7. The Kansas Territorial Government once drafted a pro-slavery constitution. Bigots.
8. When a crazy guy decided to bomb a government building, he chose KC.
9. With the exception of Moscow, the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center in Hutchinson houses the largest collection of artifacts from the Russian Space Program. Commie bastards.
10. The world’s largest hand-dug well, called “Big Well” (clever name, guys) is in Greensburg. Unsuspecting toddlers could fall in.
11. The 1960-2005 crime rates are horrifying. I’d study them, if I were you. I’ve linked an official site for your convenience: http://www.disastercenter.com/crime/kncrime.htm
12. There are currently 58 Walmarts in Kansas. And counting.
13. It’s 364 miles from Wisconsin.
Hmph.
Anonymous says:
she still loves you, maggie…
September 11th, 2007 at 1:15 am
And now for a change of subject. « Okay, Fine, Dammit says:
[...] left me alone, despondent, writhing in pain from the bleeding chunk of my heart she ripped out and took with her when she skipped town, well… Things are much worse than I [...]
March 2nd, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Maggie, dammit says:
See, I used to straighten my hair! Weird.
March 2nd, 2008 at 10:16 pm
ALL AROUND TROY » Blog Archive » Drive-By Headlines says:
[...] Taylor dramatically put the Tigers ahead with 1.3 seconds in the game against our archrival Kansas (Rock-Chalk [...]
February 10th, 2009 at 2:10 pm