RIP, Gretta’s underwear
My daughter just had a funeral for her underwear.
The thing about Gretta is she doesn’t grow. No, I take that back – she grows upward, but not outward. Approach her from behind after a bath, while she’s crouched on the floor, naked and shivering, and you might as well be looking at Tolkien’s Gollum. (“Precioussssssssss.”) She was fully potty trained before she was two years old, and, since she doesn’t really grow, we haven’t had to buy her new underwear since then. (Yes, my seven-year-old still wears the same underwear she’s worn since she was two. Go ahead and call Social Services if you’re a stickler, but that’s not the point of this blog.)
So, tonight she entered the living room, her favorite Pretty Pony pair dangling between her thumb and pointer-finger. They were worn clean through, full of holes. I told her she needed to throw them away, because I am a good parent. She ran away. I went back to my computer, satisfied.
The next thing I know, Dave is calling me from outside. He discovered Gretta up on the hill, burying her underwear. She found a nice spot ‘neath the shady pines, gently dug a shallow grave, and marked the spot with a sign reading, “RIP Gretta’s underwear. You have served me well.”
God I love my kids. (Oh, and my husband for quickly realizing what was going on and grabbing both the still and the video camera.)
Lea says:
OMFG. I saw the video but had NO idea what was going on. She SO SO SO SO your kid!!!!! Cracked my shit up, that’s fo sho…
May 30th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
Jeremy says:
I’ve never mentioned it, but – long before you and I exchanged emails – I read this story and swooned.
How effin’ cool is that?
October 18th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Magpie says:
LOL – That is wonderful. I may start doing that with my own underwear.
January 14th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
meg says:
This is so incredibly cool. She is one very neat kid.
February 27th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Xbox4NappyRash says:
Just magic that is.
April 20th, 2008 at 11:53 am
Mojo says:
Now this? This is right out of Erma Bombeck or something. My hand to God, you couldn’t deny this one with DNA evidence.
Priceless. And just exactly when I needed it too.
January 2nd, 2009 at 12:06 pm